#what team do you wish to wipe from existence

[gotham--fc]

Please give me all the tea all the beef I wanna know

[ginkgo-phyta]

Can I request Spencer (later seasons, post prison era) gifting his gf an initial necklace, but the pendant is his initial?

i.e.

"This is nice, Spence, but my name doesn't start with an 'S'."

"Yeah, but mine does, and you're mine."

Feel free to take it as far as you like 😏

A/N: ehehe yes ofc, i love thissss, but also a lil funny bc my name DOES start with an S :P so imma change the dialogue a bit. keepin dis sweet- there is a lil steamy moment for like two sentences however mostly this is fluff, hope you enjoy it, my love!

Fluff, no warnings (?), gender neutral language (im p sure, lemme know if i missed something!), 2.5k words

Spencer’s apartment is flooded with the music of joy; light jazz pours from an old style radio in the living room, your shared laughter tumbles into the rest of the place from the small kitchen, the sound of knives and forks scraping decorated ceramic plates signals the end of a well-enjoyed meal.

It was date-night for the two of you, a rare occurrence as of late due to Spencer’s teaching commitment. Initially, you were excited, thinking you would be getting more of him to yourself. You kept that thought to yourself, though, seeing how upset he initially was at not being able to help his team in the way he wanted to. That exhilaration was shut down particularly quickly as Spencer had begun bringing his work home with him. When he was working only as a profiler, sure he’d be away from you most of the time, but when he came home he’d spend all of his time present and in the moment. Now, at times, having him home almost felt worse than when he’d be away.

In the moment, however, everything was perfect. This is how you wished every night could be. The two of you bumping shoulders as you both prepare dinner; glasses of wine clinking with a cheers; old love songs serenading your flushed ears as Spencer pulls you into his arms to delicately waltz around the kitchen; his balmy eyes peering down into yours, speaking words of love and comfort. This serene feeling of domesticity was addicting. Life had been a whirlwind the past year, with it only being about six months since Spencer came home from prison. Things were jarringly different at first, both of your lives changing the way being wrongfully imprisoned changed Spencer, but you didn’t care. You could fight every battle life threw your way as long as your beautiful boy was by your side. Some days were more difficult than others, when Spencer would be reminded of the atrocities he witnessed in jail or what he had to do to survive. He’d isolate himself, snap at you, or push you away; but this evening was a good night- it almost felt like you had your old lover back.

“Dinner was delicious, angel.” Spencer beamed at you from the other side of his compact dining table, using his cloth napkin to wipe at the corners of his lips. 

“Well,” you chuckled, pushing out of your seat to collect both of your plates, “you helped me, that’s probably why.” 

Spencer quickly followed your movements, whisking the dishes out of your hands with a sweet kiss pressed to your cheek before taking them to the sink. “It was all you, beautiful.” he had whispered against your skin while leaving your side. 

You silently shook your head, picking up your wine and water glasses to be washed. “Should I dry?” you questioned as he turned on the faucet, pulling a tea towel from the cabinet below you. 

Spencer shook his head, “It’s okay, they can air dry.” he spoke with a little shrug.

“Okay!” you responded bright-eyed, throwing the towel down onto the counter next to you, a bit too excited at the prospect of not doing anything. Your reaction peeled an infectious laugh from Spencer's beautifully cerise lips, his nose scrunching involuntarily. You could stand there and just watch him exist for the rest of eternity. 

And you did just that for a minute, took in the sight of him humming along to the jazz standard wafting in from the other room, engrossed in scrubbing the food stuck to the pans you cooked in. His jawline and upper-lip were shadowed in scruff, trailing down the sides of his Adam’s apple. His hair was long now, wavy and pushed back from his face, exposing his strong forehead and giving you unrestricted access to gaze into his gentle cinnamon eyes. The years passing changed his appearance in so many ways, and you loved every bit of it. Your eyes trailed down to graze over the top of his chest, exposed by the first few buttons of his deep cerulean shirt undone; they moved over the slopes of his broad shoulders, and down to his arms working steadfast to clean up the remnants of your meal. It didn’t escape Spencer how you were drinking him in without a care in the world, paying no mind to his elbow occasionally bumping into your torso.

“You having fun there?” he teased with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, eyes never leaving the task at hand. His words spurred you forward. 

You simply hummed in response as you moved to stand behind him, your front pressing firmly into his back. Spencer’s eyebrow arched questioningly, but he kept his mouth shut, simply letting you do as you pleased. Your head peeked over one side of his arm, hands sliding down until they reached the cuff of his sleeve. Deftly, you began folding them up, “Just helpin you,” you mumbled as a throwaway explanation, moving to his other side to do the same. Fingernails scratched at his newly exposed forearms, your muffled giggle turning Spencer’s smirk into a wide grin. “Done!” you announced, wrapping your arms around his abdomen before nuzzling your face into his broad back. Over the barrier of fabric, the running water, and the sound of his scrubbing Spencer barely heard you ask, “Didn’t I help so much?”

His chuckle sent vibrations into your cheek, “Yes, honey, you were a big help. Thank you.” Content, you pushed your face further into his shirt. 

The two of you stood like that for a few more minutes, Spencer trying his best not to move too much in order to keep you comfortable. You haven’t back-hugged him like this since before he was framed, and he didn’t realize how much he missed it until this moment. He washed the dishes a bit slower than normal, reveling in the heart-warming scene. Soon, however, he was done. 

As soon as he turned off the water, you were off him, moving to pick up the once-forgotten tea towel and face him, leaning against the edge of the sink. “Thank you for your service, soldier.” you unseriously saluted before taking each of his dripping hands in his and patting them dry. 

A titter broke through his smile as Spencer reverently gazed down at you, the way your eyes twinkled under the soft-yellow lights of his old kitchen, your beautiful hands turning his own over to attack any remaining droplets of water, your eyebrows twitching reflexively here and there in focus. The first time he laid eyes on you all those years ago he was shot in the heart by Cupid’s arrow, and it has stayed there, firm in place, ever since. 

As soon as you were done, Spencer softly cupped your face in his palms, your fingers wrapping around his wrists as he tilted your head up to look at him. He leaned down, pushing a passionate, yet gentle kiss onto your mouth. Before you could deepen it, he pulled away just enough to mumble, “I have something for you.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, and you looked up at him in confusion as he pressed one more peck to your lips before moving into the other room, your hands chasing after him. Once his words processed in your brain you perked up, excitedly following behind him.

“You got me a gift?” You question, reaching where Spencer stood at the side table by the front door, right in front of the intricate, gold trimmed mirror you hung up just last week. Your eyebrows furrowed as you watched Spencer pick up the weekly newspaper, “Uh, you got me the…local paper?”

With a roll of his eyes, Spencer wordlessly pulled you to him by the waist, mimicking your earlier actions by pressing his front into your back. You stumbled a bit, catching yourself by grabbing onto the forearm wrapped around your torso, holding you up, Spencer’s fingers digging into your waist. You peer at him curiously through the mirror before he whispers in your ear. 

“Look,” he motions down with his chin, and you do as you’re told. Spencer moves the haphazardly folded newspaper to the side, revealing a glimmering deep emerald velvet box. From the size of it, you could tell it was some jewelry other than a ring. You gasped in shock, not even having seen its contents. “Spencer…” your voice was meek and unbelieving. 

He watched you through the mirror, his cheek pressed against your temple as he opened the box before you. Your alluring eyes widened to their limits, hands flying up to cover your mouth. Your gaze whizzed to meet your lover in the reflection, “You got me a necklace??” your words dripped with incredulity. Spencer had gifted you generously in the past- rare books, handmade accessories, clothing you had your eye on, tickets to see your favorite artists live- but never before had he bought you jewelry. You never minded, content with wanting the first piece he gives you to be an engagement ring. That being said, this surprise moved you immensely. You took in the gorgeous necklace shining proudly up at you. A dainty chain in the metal you wore the most, in the middle sat a heart-shaped locket, no bigger than the tip of your pinky-finger. Before you could speak again, Spencer shifted to open the locket for you, revealing two pictures. One was older, taken at JJ’s wedding; Penelope had been going around taking photos of everyone and as soon as she neared the two of you, Spencer scooped you up into his arms as if you were the bride. The moment frozen in time showed you in the midst of a bellowing laugh, clutching to Spencer’s shoulders in shock, with your boyfriend looking upon you as if you were an angel incarnate, an equally wide smile plastered across his face. The second photo was more recent; you had invited the whole team out to a picnic brunch shortly after Spencer was released and this time Emily was the one taking candid photos. The two of you were cozying up at the edge of the yellow gingham blanket, Spencer's arms wrapped tightly around your figure rested between his legs. In the photo, his hand was cupping your jaw, tilting your face up to bring your lips close to his, the snapshot proudly showcasing his grinning mouth just centimeters from your own with the sunlight stretching out in the background. 

“Oh, Spencer,” you were at a loss of words, your fingers hesitantly tracing the silhouette of the pendant, “It’s so beautiful, my favorite pictures…” you murmured. 

Spencer hummed and nodded in response, setting the box down to take the necklace out of its confines. He straightened behind you, stretching the necklace out in front of your face, “Let me put it on you, baby.” he whispered, mouth barely moving. 

You happily obliged as he brought the chain closer to your neck, moving your hair to one side to better allow him to clasp it behind you. Spencer watched you the whole time through the mirror while your eyes were fixated on the necklace. The cold metal of the locket hitting your warm skin caused a minuscule gasp to part your plump lips, but Spencer noticed it all. The way your chest rose and fell faster, chasing after your quickened heart; the way you drew your bottom lip in between your teeth; your uncertain hands grasping at his trouser legs behind you. Once the chain was secured, the locket resting perfectly in the dip of your collar bones, Spencer placed soft, warm kisses to the exposed skin of your shoulders and neck, holding eye contact with you with each; even as he moved your hair to dutifully pepper the other side. You sighed as his arms returned to engulf your waist, tighter than before, your hands moved to rest on top of his. He noticed your eyelids flutter close just for a moment, taking him in, before they opened again and your gaze shifted back down to the reflection of the necklace. Your eyes glinted with uncertainty upon noticing the engraving on the locket you hadn’t fully processed earlier. 

“‘S’...” you spoke, reading the letter dangling from your neck. You kept your inflection steady, trying to make it seem like you knew exactly what it stood for, but Spencer knew you better than that. Before you could make any assumptions, he spoke up.

“For ‘Spencer’.” he stated matter-of-factly, his face moving up from your shoulder to rest against your temple again. 

You smiled at him, more confused than before, “But aren’t you supposed to put my initials on it. You know, cuz it’s my necklace?”

“No,” he murmured sternly against your hair. Spencer’s left hand slipped down to grab onto your right hip, his right hand traveling up your sternum to thumb over the locket before splaying out to rest just below your throat, the heart pendant resting on the back of his hand.

Another, louder gasp sucked through your lips as Spencer tugged you closer to him, your back arched a bit as it stretched, bum pushing into his groin. 

“I put my initial,” he started again, heading dipping down to mouth against the shell of your ear, his eyes looking at you in the mirror through his cocoa lashes had you biting your lip, “Because you’re mine. And now everyone will know it.”

Suddenly, you whipped around in Spencer’s arms, throwing your own over and around his neck, hugging his body close to yours. He stumbled back a bit in shock, grabbing onto your lower back to steady himself before a laugh shook through his shoulders. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you enthusiastically repeated, pressing kisses along his stubbled jawline with every word. “I love it so much, Spencer.” you pulled back all the way to stare up at him, gaze filled with genuinity. One of your hands remained on the back of his neck, the other coming down to fiddle with the locket, “This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” 

His previously mischievous demeanor melted off his back as Spencer drank in how you dripped sweetness. “I’m so happy to hear you say that, honey.” His hands rubbed up and down your back. “I know things have been…complicated lately. I’ve been distant and cold, which I want to apologize for, but you’ve been beside me through it all. You’re my rock, and I just wanted to show you a bit of my gratitude.” 

You shook your head as you pushed up onto your tippy-toes to kiss him again, the hand on your locket moving to lightly scratch at the side of his neck.

“I’m all yours,” you muttered against his lips, tilting your head to the other side to slot yours upon them again. You pulled away after a couple seconds, “You don’t have to thank me, my love. I know you would do the same for me.” You pressed a few more kisses to Spencer’s supple lips before pulling back again, causing him to huff. “Are you mine?” you whisper.

Innocent doe-eyes coupled with a small pout had a quiet groan dragging from Spencer’s throat. He brought a hand up to trace your bottom lip with his thumb before tangling his fingers in your hair, 

“I’m yours, baby.” he nodded. “Only yours.” With that, he pulled you back in for a sensual kiss.

A/N: omg sorry if this sucks im so sleepy right nowwwww it took so long to write this for some reason i cant process words properly but i wanted to finish this! i loved writing this piece, and i hope y'all like reading it. ANON! how'd i do?

[wosoamazing]

Opening Match

Summary: It's the Matilda's first 2023 World Cup Match, against Ireland and you're starting.

Warnings: Panic (I guess – but not like a panic attack, I don’t think), mentions of Sam’s WWC injury….

A/N: ACL injuries don’t exist in this universe, if only that was the case in the real world. Tried to make it semi-factual, so like the times at which things happen are factual, however obviously the goals aren’t. (Also I know the Lionesses were in QLD and the Matildas were in NSW but let’s just pretend they weren’t)

It had been an hour, and you still couldn’t get to sleep, you were too scared for tomorrow, Tony was starting you, which he had told you this morning, Sam had injured herself and he decided you were the best replacement, the only saving grace was that only the your Captain’s, Tony, and yourself knew this, the rest of the team would find out tomorrow, so at least you weren’t reminded of it all day.

You had millions of thoughts racing through your mind, preventing you from sleeping, causing the panic to ever so slowly increase. “What if I screw up” “What if this team wasn’t the right team” “What if I let the whole team down” “What if I don’t meet their expectations” “What if my streak at Arsenal has just been a fluke”.

A few tears had left your eyes at these thoughts, creating little puddles on your pillow. You decided to get up and go into the hallway, if you were going to cry you didn’t want to wake up Steph. You were crying for such a stupid reason, anyone would kill to be in the starting 11 for the Matildas, let alone a 16-year-old, yet here you were crying, wishing you could be anything but the Matildas starting 11. You quietly got out of your bed and walked towards the door, you opened the door just enough so you could slide out, trying to minimise the light that flooded the room, you made sure to keep hold of the door as it shut in hopes of it closing silently, you didn’t want to make a noise, you didn’t want to wake Steph or anyone else up. Except the thing was, Steph was actually still awake. She waited a while to see if you would come back thinking you had just gone to fill up your water bottle at the end of the hall, however when she noticed your water bottle was still sitting on the side table, she grew a little concerned, but she reassured herself that maybe you were just getting some Panadol or something from the medics. However, when she heard a faint sniffle come from just outside the door she panicked, she quickly jumped out of her bed, and made her way out into the hall.

“Oh bug,” she sighed out at the sight of you, beginning to sit next to you. You sat curled in a ball leaning against the wall, body slightly shaking with your sobs, you looked up at her, your face was red and tearstained, and your eyes were puffy. “It’s okay, I’m here,” she said softly as she pulled you into her lap, you sat there as she rocked you slightly trying to calm you down, you felt like a baby, how could you be so upset over this, and now you had disturbed Steph’s peace because of your pathetic little problem.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to wake you” you mumbled into Steph’s chest.

“Don’t be sorry, you can always wake me for absolutely anything, but you didn’t actually wake me I was still awake” she gently replied, as she wiped your tears away with her shirt.

“Oh,” “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” “I don’t think I should start tomorrow, what if I stuff up, what if I’m not good enough for them, what if I don’t live up to their expectations, what if-” you were cut off by your ever increasing sobs, making it hard to speak, Steph sighed at your words, she had suggested that they didn’t start you, just brought you on early, but Sam and Tony thought starting you was best, coming out with a bang. Steph had hoped maybe her suggestion would be taken, reducing some of the pressure, the media was all over you already, pressuring you, so too were the fans. You were the sister of Leah Williamson, the women who captained the Lionesses to Euro’s victory in 2022, the women who once again would Captain the Lionesses in the fight for yet another victory, one that could well possibly be theirs. There was something extraordinary expected from you by the public, and the second the starting line-up was released that would only increase.

“Y/N/N, it’s okay to be nervous and a little scared, everyone does, it won’t stop, but you get used to it and before some games you will get more nervous than other games, why do you think I wasn’t asleep. But you can’t let the outside world affect you, the people in this building and in this team believe in you, and if you don’t do as well as you hoped well so be it, everyone had off days, off games. Don’t listen to them, they would faulter the second they took a step on the pitch, even the commentators yes they do know what they are talking about but at the end of the day they are there for the public so they are going to feed them, and I promise, we wouldn’t have chosen you if we didn’t believe in you, and Tony only expects that you try your hardest every time you step onto that pitch, that’s all any of us want.”

“Yeah, I guess,” you sigh before continuing “but why are you nervous for tomorrow?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said you weren’t sleeping, and then you said some games you get more nervous than others, so I just assumed-” you were cut of by the sound of a door opening, you both look up to see Sam sleepily walking over to you rubbing her eyes.

“Shit, sorry did we wake you up, I didn’t think we were that loud” Steph whispered as Sam sat down.

“No, don’t worry, I couldn’t sleep, thought I heard something so just wanted to check, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter” Sam gave you a look, causing you to blurt it out “I’m scared Sam, what if I stuff up, what if I’m not good enough for them, and now I’ve disturbed both of you when you should be relaxing and sleeping and I shouldn’t be upset about this, it should be something happy but I’m too scared to be happy, and, and my problem isn’t even a big problem, I mean you can’t play and now I’m technically in a way complaining about being in the starting 11 to the person whose spot I took” at those words Sam looked down at the floor, the tears that had started welling up in your eyes, started streaming down, “I-I’m S-sorry, I-I, I shouldn’t have said that”.

Sam looked back up at you, her face held a sterner and more serious look “No, don’t apologise, it’s okay, you did nothing wrong, and never think just because some else may or may not have a bigger problem than you, that your emotions and feelings aren’t valid, and never apologise for what you say. And yes, I can’t play and you get to play but at the same time that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset, it’s a big thing starting in a major tournament let alone …..” you nodded finding her words to be oddly comforting and had stopped crying, Sam had pulled out her phone and was messaging someone, so you looked up to Steph.

“You know, you never answer my question from before,” “Really, I thought I got out of that one” “Nah-uh” you say with some sass as you shake your head.

“I don’t know, I just guess I didn’t really expect to be leading the team out, it’s kind of scary, I mean this is our chance to make history and I guess in a way I’m leading the team out and am in charge of the start of our chance. I just don’t know, its silly anyway,” Steph let out as a singular tear rolled down her check.

“Steph, you have nothing to worry about, you are such an amazing player, and you are such a great leader, and such a great big sister and mini Mum, I believe in you, as you said, Tony wouldn’t have picked you if he didn’t believe in you,” Steph blushed at your kind words, before letting out a small laugh at your end comment, she hug you tighter and mouthed ‘thank you’, before the three of you feel into a calm silence.

“I think we should go outside, get some fresh air quickly” Sam said, breaking the silence whilst almost winking at Steph. “Good idea, Sam”

“But its late, wont we get in trouble?” The last thing you wanted was to be getting in trouble the night before your first world cup game.

“No, we’ll be fine, we will only be quick and plus as Sam said some fresh air will do you good” Steph said as she practically dragged you upright. As you left the elevators and walked towards the hotel doors, you noticed an oddly familiar figure standing just outside the doors, they were holding something, what you didn’t notice was the smile your two captains exchanged at the sight of this figure, Sam opened the door and you stepped outside into the cool air, before you found yourself running up to the figure, “Le!” you exclaimed as you jumped into the arms of your sister, “what are you doing here?”

“Well, I might’ve been told by a certain someone that my little sister was upset, and I thought I would quickly come visit to cheer her up.” You planted your feet back on the ground and said thank you to Sam before turning to talk with your sister, after a few minutes you both had to go back to your rooms, so you said bye to each other. She gave you one of her hoddies which you put on, it being the next best thing to being with her. You fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow, you were tired after all.

______

You were lining up in the tunnel when the nerves started to kick back in, probably due to the fact that when the teams were announced it was also announced that this is your first time starting, first major tournament playing for the Matildas and thus your first World Cup. You were also reminded that your sister had captained the Lionesses when they won the Euro’s just last year. But you felt Caitlin hands on your shoulders, and she squeezed them, Steph had obviously been discussing things with her. It was strange to you that the shoulder squeezes worked, but they did, they almost seemed to bring you out of your thoughts and into the present. As you walked out of the tunnel the stadium erupted, fans cheered like you’d never heard before, which is saying something considering you did attend the Euro’s final, you took your place in the line as the anthems were sung and soon enough the game was starting.

15 minutes in and a free kick was given, you took it, it was almost close enough to just go straight for the goal but you didn’t want to risk it, so you crossed it in, but instead of the ball finding a place at one of your teammates feet or head, it found a place in the back of the net, you had just scored your first goal for the Matildas, your first goal at a major tournament, your first goal at a world cup and the first Matildas goal of the world cup. You were elated. Your elation only increased at the 26th minute, when you headed the ball and it hit the back of the net, however you couldn’t take full credit for that one, Steph had delivered it in perfectly, you just had the easy job of tapping it in.

It was now extra time for the first half, you knew Tony was taking you off at half time, he had told you at the 35th minute during the ‘team tactical’ while Katie was down, Ireland was playing more aggressive than expected and Tony wasn’t risking having his two best strikers injured. Knowing this you decided to push yourself to your limits, you were running after every ball, you were taking tackles, and somehow by some miracle you scored your third goal in the final minute of extra time, you didn’t even know how you did it but you did, and with your goal the ref blew her whistle and the first half was over. The team ran over to you to celebrate, “Hattrick baby!” was screamed in your ear by someone, you all jumped up and down continuing to celebrate before deciding you should probably head back inside.

“Good game?” Sam asked as you walked into the tunnel together.

“Great Game!” You exclaimed, as you followed her through the door, to the locker room.

You took a seat in your locker ready to listen to Tony, being number 8 your locker was in-between Steph and Caitlin’s, “She might hate you now, though,” Caitlin said with a wink, it was a compliment in its finest, but it felt nice to get an inside compliment, like an inside joke not everyone would understand what she means.

“How do you feel? Like a million bucks?” Steph asked.

“Nope, like I chose the right team.”

[thefiery-phoenix]

PLATONIC YANDERE POTTER FAMILY X READER X WEASLEY FAMILY

In this AU, Harry's parents are well alive

You'd most probably meet the Potter family first before meeting the Weasley family and I have a feeling that they'd be friends with each other. You'd meet the Potter family on the day Harry was going to Hogwarts, James did have quite a legacy at Hogwarts for being one of the best Quidditch seekers the Gryffindor Quidditch team ever had. Harry was looking forward to follow in his footsteps and the two of you met at the Kings' Cross Station. Your parents couldn't come with you to drop you off because they had an important business meeting with some client in Switzerland and they left you with your aunt who only dropped you off at the station and took off almost immediately, leaving you all by yourself surrounded with complete strangers. You've never been to Kings' Cross Station before and you had no idea where in the name of Merlin was platform 9 3/4. You've asked the Station master nearby and he thought you were just messing with him and pranking him which was why he just shooed you away

You were at a loss, you didn't know what to do and whom to contact, it wasn't like you were given an official guide as to where the platform was. You started panicking, thinking that the Hogwarts Express would be leaving without you any minute and you'd miss your wonderful chance to go to Hogwarts. You couldn't help but blink back a few tears of frustration as you felt that the situation was spinning out of control. You sighed and sat down on a bench for a moment to think about what to do next. You spotted a family of 3, a young boy of your age wearing glasses with a scar on his head, along with his parents, a man who resembled the boy's appearance, his father perhaps and his mother with hair as Red as the autumn leaves were accompanying their son with his trolley. "Blimey Harry, can't believe you're going to Hogwarts. Time does fly by fast" said James dramatically as he wiped his fake tears away

His wife, Lily glared at him and whispered "Shh... what if someone hears?" "It'll be all right, muggles don't know a damn thing about platform 9 and 3 quarters and Hogwarts and all that" he waved airily as they walked past you. An idea suddenly formed and took shape in your head as you followed them and when you finally caught up to them, you spoke "Umm... hi there, good morning. I was wondering if you could please direct me to where platform 9 and 3 quarters is...I know it exists, I just can't find it..." you finished with a forlorn look on your face as they stared at you in amazement for a moment and they had a silent discussion with each other through their eyes. You were indeed, one of them. "Don't worry dear, we'll help you. Where are your parents though?" enquired Lily as you replied "They're in Switzerland at the moment" "Oh...who came to drop you off then?" asked James as you answered "My aunt. She had some work to do back at her law firm. She's a lawyer so... it's just me by myself" you laughed slightly as they felt sad. Even though they just met you, Harry could already sense you were a bit upset and sad about something, the way your eyes had that wistful and wishful lost look in them, James and Lily didn't think too kindly about your aunt and your parents either at the moment

Attending Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and boarding the Hogwarts Express for the very first time was a magical once in a lifetime experience which would be memorable in one's life. How could your so called family just abandon you like that without even taking the time off from their work to even see you off properly? And did your family not care about your safety at all? What about all the dangerous and unknown strangers lurking around? The society and world these days isn't really that safe you know especially for sweet little things such as yourself. They decided to accompany you and show you the ropes as you tagged along with them and felt grateful that you'd finally catch your train in time

You noticed Harry's scar and when you asked him how he got it, he just had a sheepish smile on his face and replied "I was trying to catch a snitch at the Diagon Alley on my broom and I accidentally crash landed at Borgin and Burkes near Knockturn alley. The owner wasn't really that pleased with me when I smashed some of his stuff but the incident did kind of catch on with the other witches and wizards from the magical world. Some thought it was amusing and they think I'll follow in my dad's footsteps to become a great seeker like him" "What's a seeker?" you asked him with a confused and bewildered expression on your face. He stared at you for a moment and then it dawned upon him that you could have spent your life living with muggles and you probably had no idea what he was talking about. However no matter, he'd show you and teach you everything

You guys reached the platform just in time and you thanked them for their help as Lily hugged you and smiled "Enjoy yourself dear. Stay safe and have fun but don't get into any trouble" your heart warmed at her words, it was the sort of advice a mother would give to her child before sending them off into the real world all by themselves. You nodded as you boarded the train with Harry, saying your farewell and goodbyes to the Potter family. James and Lily couldn't get you off their minds for some reason, they were concerned with your safety and wondered if you were being treated well at home. Perhaps they'd better write to Harry after he reached Hogwarts to check up on you and update them about you. Just to be safe

You were talking with Harry and your conversation was interrupted when a ginger haired boy around your age dressed in black robes, with freckles on his face peeked in and spoke "Excuse me, do you mind? Everyone else's is full..." "Not at all" replied Harry as he motioned for the guy to take a seat in front of him. "I'm Ron by the way. Ron Weasley" he introduced himself as Harry introduced himself and you introduced yourself as well. The three of you were engaged in discussions when the sliding door opened again and this time, a girl with brown hair asked if any of you had seen a toad, a boy named Neville had lost one. The three of you said you hadn't spotted a toad and when she saw the wand in Ron's hand, she spoke "Oh, you're doing magic? Let's see it then" with an interested look on her face. Ron glanced at the two of you nervously but composed himself as he straightened his posture and uttered a spell which you were pretty sure wasn't even real because instead of turning his pet rat Scabbers yellow, he just made it frightened and it started scampering around everywhere till he finally managed to calm it down

The girl introduced herself as Hermione Granger and she disappeared after she told you three to change into your robes. You finally reached Hogwarts after a few hours and you were speechless by the magnificence and splendor before you. It looked exactly like the sort of castles in your bedtime stories your mother used to read for you when you were little, before she wasn't too preoccupied with her work and had time for you. You went along with the other first years led by a giant of a man named Hagrid who you thought was quite nice and friendly. Then the head of the Gryffindor house, Minerva McGonagall who was also the Transfiguration professor gave you all some background information about the houses

"Slytherin is filled with dark wizards and witches. And crackpots too" whispered Ron to you and you felt nervous, you didn't want to get sorted into Slytherin and lose your new friends. Professor McGonagall then asked you all to wait for a few moments as she needed to get some things ready for the sorting ceremony and as soon as she left, a blonde haired guy spoke "So it's true then, the sayings on the train... Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts" as everyone looked at him in surprise and muttered among themselves. "This is Crabbe and Goyle. And I'm Malfoy... Draco Malfoy" as he introduced himself and Ron snickered in a not so subtle manner. Of course Draco heard it and wasn't really pleased with his reaction as he sneered at him. " You think my name's funny do you? There's no need to ask yours... red hair, a hand me down robe... you must be a Wealsey..." as he turned back to Harry and spoke "You'll have to know by now that there are some Wizarding families that are better than the others Potter. You're a part of the Sacred 28 after all,you don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort..." and glared at Ron again

You barely knew Malfoy for 5 minutes when you intervened "I'm sorry, what exactly makes a family a part of the Sacred 28? And Harry can make his decisions for himself. Of course, if you were a part of a Sacred family, your values and morals would be decent as well. Else you wouldn't be insulting people right off the bat as soon as you meet them". Some of the first years around you 'ooohed' when you said that as Malfoy's face grew hot and red with anger as he snarled "Stay out of this. No one asked you for your opinion" and you just rolled your eyes in response. Harry and Ron stared in amazement at your courage as Hermione was observing the scene from a distance away. It was your first day at Hogwarts and you were already getting ready to fight? She looked on rather disapprovingly but part of her admired your courage and loyalty for your friends by standing up for them. Which was why she also gripped her wand in her pockets just in case she could pull it out if the situation got out of hand. She didn't want anything happening to you for some reason

It was time for the sorting at long last, the moment you've been waiting for and Harry, Ron and Hermione were sorted into the Gryffindor house whereas Malfoy was sorted into the Slytherin house. The sorting hat was placed on top of your head and it muttered "Hmm.... interesting. Very very interesting...." as you nervously looked up at it and asked "What is?" "In all my years of sorting students into houses, you're truly something. You have bravery, courage and loyalty, fit to be a Gryffindor and yet, that cheek, determination and lots and lots of ambition to make you a Slytherin. Plenty of brains, the curiosity and hunger for knowledge is in there as well, you'd do well in Ravenclaw. You're also kind hearted and have the good old nature that Helga Hufflepuff was talking  about...hmm... where to put you?" it asked you

It was quite an interesting predicament because never before did anyone see the sorting hat have trouble sorting someone into a house. Everyone looked at you with bated breath as you could feel everyone's eyes on you which made you a bit conscious of yourself but you tried your best to ignore the feeling. The headmaster, Albus Dumbledore was watching you quite closely as professor Snape, the Potions professor seemed interested as well. After a few moments of deliberation, the sorting hat finally sorted you into Gryffindor which you felt relieved about. Harry, Ron and Hermione felt immensely glad that you were in the same house along with them. You felt an exhilarating feeling course through your body when everyone clapped for you as you joined the Gryffindor table. You were introduced to the Wealsey siblings present there, Percy Wealsey, the third oldest who was the Gryffindor prefect, Fred and George the twins who were overly fond of pranking people and you made a mental note to not get on their bad side. The last thing you needed was to wake up with horns on your head or something or a tail for that matter

Harry, Ron, Hermione and you became fast friends pretty quick but you refused to talk with them when they didn't include you in the quest for the Philosopher's stone. It broke their hearts but it was for your own good,you couldn't be put in danger like that. They cared for you too much and it drove them crazy when you ignored them or just glared at them angrily and stormed off. You finally softened a bit towards them when they said that they didn't want to put you in danger and they just wanted you to be safe. You started hanging out with them again as usual and they were elated, the days you refused to even spare them a second glance was utter torture for them. Harry, Ron and Hermione were like your three overprotective shadows, always around you no matter what. They've appointed themselves as your official caretakers and grew possessive and obsessive of you really quick

Harry wrote to his parents about you regularly as Ron did to his parents as well. During Christmas your parents forgot to send you your Christmas presents and you felt heartbroken. Harry, Ron and Hermione were mad as hell so they pitched in and got you some treats from the Great Hall and a few Christmas goodies of your own like a journal from Hermione, a cute quill set from Ron and from Harry, a book he thought you might be interested to read along with an encouraging note from all three of them. Of course they've mentioned to their parents that you haven't received any gifts for Christmas and you've received dozens of parcels from the Potter family and the Wealsey family, even though you hardly knew them. But they knew everything about you, more than you could know about yourself. You've received puddings, Tarts, cakes, pastries, sweaters, a maroon jumper with a W stitched on it and a snowglobe with a cute tiny snowman inside it. You felt grateful for their presents and sad at the same time for your own parents and family forgetting about you just like that

You were even more crushed when your parents said that they needed to go to France for a work conference and your aunt would be preoccupied with a huge case in the muggle world which meant you couldn't go back home. You were pretty devastated when you were invited by Ron to spend time with his family as Harry stated that his parents would join them at the Weasley's house for a couple of days. You agreed and upon reaching the Wealsey house, you could feel the warmth and homely feeling the atmosphere radiated. It certainly did give off homely vibes. You wished your family was also like this. You were introduced to Molly, who hugged you and spoke "So you're the famous Y/N my Ronald keeps talking about all the time... it's so nice to finally meet you dear" as Ron heatedly yelled out "MUM!" as Fred and George snickered in the background, whispering about how Ron was a simp for you as he told them to shut up

You were even introduced to Arthur Weasley, the father of Ron and the other Wealsey siblings who worked at the Ministry of magic, Bill Weasley who worked as a curse breaker at Gringotts the Wizarding bank in Egypt, Charlie Wealsey who worked with dragons in Romania which you found extremely fascinating. There was also young Ginny Weasley, who'd be starting Hogwarts next year. She was shy at first but she really opened up to you and she had fun being around you. The Weasley family loved and enjoyed your presence, it felt like you were part of their family already

Percy could see you becoming a head boy/ girl or prefect and he wanted to become your guide but Fred and George kept stealing you away to their room to show you their latest inventions. They loved it when your eyes sparkle and light up in curiosity, they feel proud when you take in interest in their inventions as do the other Wealseys when you enquired about their hobbies and pastimes. Molly wouldn't even let you step out of the house when it was time for De- gnoming the garden, she didn't want you getting injured and everyone agreed that it would be best for you if you'd stayed in while they'd take care of the business

A few days later James and Lily showed up at the Burrow and greeted you warmly as all of you sat down together and discussed various things over some nice hot steaming bowls of soup and a scrumptious feast laid out by Molly and Lily. When you were asked about your love life by Ginny, you literally choked on your soup as Molly patted you on the back and James handed you a glass of water. "Ginevra, that isn't a question for the dinner table" said Molly with a death stare as everyone present there became very interested in what you had to say. "Believe it or not, some guy from our Potions class, Troy Mullers asked me out for Valentine's day" "What did you say?" asked Hermione as everyone felt that sudden protective urge to make sure you were safe by all means necessary, even if it meant getting that Troy schmuck out of the way. They won't stand for someone to romantically court you, you were too kind and innocent to have your heart and feelings being taken for a ride by some random immature guy you barely even knew

"I... I rejected him. He wasn't happy about it and he called me all sorts of mean names but... it's not something I'm not used to" you shrugged it off as they all felt anger course through their veins. Who dared to make you sad and upset by calling you mean names and hurt your feelings? In fact Charlie was ready to send a Hungarian Horntail after them and Fred and George would send them Howlers after Holwers and packages with explosive Dungbombs from Zonkos, the Wizarding joke shop that go off as soon as you open the parcel. They were seething and they all came to a single conclusion, you had to be taken under their care for your own good. And judging by the way your so called family was treating you, you wouldn't want to be spend more time with them anymore which was a huge favor for them. Besides, what good is a family if they can't take care of you? Don't worry dear, they'll look after you and care for you like their very own. You've become a part of their families now whether you wanted to or not and it's like they say, family ALWAYS comes first...

[lvrhughes]

Most Gorgeous | J. Drysdale

pairing: Jamie Drysdale x gn!reader

summary: When feeling insecure, Jamie is there to help.

word count: 0.5k

warnings: none?

requested: yes

not my gif!

“You almost ready?” Jamie’s voice came from downstair, calling you for dinner with his team. Your body stood in front of the mirror, one Jamie had ensured lived in his room after you admitted how much you liked it once.

Tears threatened to cover your cheeks, the reflection staring back at you as you choked back a sob. Hands reaching up to wipe the tears away before answering Jamie, clearing your throat to ensure he wouldn’t hear your emotion.

“Yeah Jam, I’ll be down in a minute.” The last word cracking, your hands moving to cover your mouth, willing that he’d simply ignore it.

That was never the case. Jamie would always do everything in his power to ensure you were okay, he was always observant listening to your voice crack as you answered, listening to the shift of the floorboards are your arms moved.

His body moved faster than his mind, leading him back up the stairs, opening to door to his room without second thought. The image of your staring in the mirror, tears soaking your waterline as you covered your mouth met him. His eyes softening at the sight, his arms opening quickly as he approached your frame, wrapping them around you.

“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

“Why me?” Your voice was quiet, barely audible but he heard.

Cocking his head in confusion, his eyes meeting yours through the mirror.

“What are you talking about? Why you? Baby, because your the most gorgeous human I’ve ever met and beyond looks you are so fucking perfect.”

“But I’m not! Jamie, look at me.” The tears that had clouded your eyes fell, covering your cheeks in soft streaks.

“I am looking at you,” His hand shifted on your body, holding your waist to keep your body pressed against his while he held eye contact through the mirror. “You are the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen and this outfit looks so fucking amazing on your baby, if you saw what I do you’d agree and even if you weren’t the hottest person to ever exist,”

His words bring a stubble smile to your face as he spoke.

“You are such an amazing person, baby your so kind and just fucking perfect I wish you’d see it too.” His words grew softer, his grip tightening. “Do you believe me?”

“I believe you Jamie.”

“Good because I need you to believe me when I say you are always gorgeous weather your wearing this or my sweats and a hoodie.” His hands shifted again, spinning your body to face him before pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“I believe you Jam.” He grinned the at words, pressing one more kiss to your lips before speaking once more.

“What do you think, we tell everyone I got sick and order takeout and stay in bed all night?” He grinned, waiting for you to nod before picking your body up and placing you on the bed.

“I’ll go send the message and order food, you pick a movie.” He spoke, running out of the room after in search of his phone while you smiled.

[rayesgenesis]

i saw your post asking for requests, i hope this is something that inspires but its of course totally fine if not!

i was thinking, uma and mal x reader poly (absolutely cool if you dont do that, just uma is fine then) and fem!ak!reader is trying out for the tourney team right after the barrier is taken down so everything in auradon is changing, but the coach/existing team members dont want to let just one random girl try out

…but they cant say no to literally THE uma and mal, who decide to try out with reader to support her (they dont really actually wanna be on the team, but u can decide if they end up really liking it! ((i think itd really funny if badass icon mal kinda sucks at tourney 😭 while her gfs r absolutely wiping the floor w the other contestants in tryouts)))

TRIPLE THREAT

a/n: tysm for this request!! i’ve never done a poly fic so it’s a first.. lemme know if you like itt 💌 i had so much fun writing it & i tried to keep it cutesy while being very demure and very mindful

who? uma x mal x fem!ak reader

warnings; shit description of a tourney game, barely proofread this

wc: 1.19k

summary: the tourney team tried to stop you from trying out.. not on your girlfriends’ watch.

anything is possible. that’s how you felt like when the barrier came down. you were always taught that it was a fantasy, there wouldn’t be such thing as villains & heroes sharing the same space anymore. it wasn’t right. yet, here you were, relieved to see the barrier brought down.

you were mainly excited for your girlfriends, uma and mal, to finally achieve something that was both a pat on the back and a way to give hope to people. a step towards change. it was inspiring.

this very feeling of hope hung in the air over the following weeks, leading you to the school’s tourney team tryouts. you always wished you could play tourney however it was a sport full of men. no such thing as a women’s team yet. and they were finally hosting tryouts for the new season. besides, with all these incoming students from the isle, it was only right to give everyone a fair chance.

you just hoped it applied to you too.

once on the field, you felt very alone amongst the other candidates. you almost talked yourself out of this as you felt the guys’ stares. you were the only girl there. maybe it wasn’t worth the humiliation.

when chad called out your name, he brought the call sheet closer to his face, making sure he read that right. you took a deep breath before stepping forward with clenched fists and chad looked even more confused.

"beautiful. uh, why are you..here?"

"i’m here for the tryouts." you made sure to act as natural as possible.

chad laughed. he usually did when he thought someone made a joke he didn’t understand.

"what’s so funny about that, chad?"

your head turned at the sound of the female voice emerging from the crowd. it was mal. she had been so busy lately, you hadn’t expected her to remember you trying out for the team when you mentioned it in passing a couple nights ago, but she did. she was there with you and you could finally breathe properly. once you could make out her figure, you couldn’t stop beaming.

she came to stand right by your side, her eyes quickly glancing at you while giving your hand a squeeze before returning her narrowed eyes on the boy.

"sorry…" he winced, pretending to apologize. "we just don’t do girls.."

another voice cut him off.

"and why is that?"

you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself when uma’s voice chimed in. it was almost no surprise that she showed up as well. whenever mal was around, uma wasn’t far away and neither were you. your doubts slowly faded away.

"who’s talking now?"

"i said why is that, don’t make me repeat myself." uma’s signature assertiveness came through and your smirk widened. her tone was threatening yet composed, but everyone could feel it. chad started stammering and coach jenkins came around.

"hey, hey, hey now. what’s all this." chad mumbled in his ear quickly and the coach looked up at you. he gestured for chad to stop chirping in his ear before speaking up again.

"you know we can’t let you do that miss."

you scoffed. "you can’t let me try out for the team? that’s ridiculous! you haven’t even seen what i can do!"

still, coach shook his head and your shoulders slightly slumped. behind your back, uma and mal gave eachother a quick look before speaking.

"we’ll try out with her." uma announced. you looked back at them and mouthed what are you doing. neither of them answered you they just kept on going.

"yeah, if she’s no good then by all means, never let her be near a tourney field ever again. but if she’s amazing, which she is, you gotta let her on the team. whatever the rules from whatever ancient book might say." mal added, just as confident.

everyone turned to look at the coach, who was considering their proposition. he couldn’t risk upsetting the two girls who helped bringing all these new students.

"alright, fine. you can all tryout for team. " he asked chad to go get you, mal and uma some uniforms so you could get changed. you finally turned around to face them with raised eyebrows.

"guys…. what was that?" you chuckled.

"don’t worry about it." uma said. you looked at mal and she winked at you. you rolled your eyes but you were melting at them supporting you like that. your arms extended and they came to hug you.

"i’m so glad you’re here." you whispered.

once you all got in the attire, your eyes lingered on your girlfriends, trying to commit to mind how hot they both looked right now. mal turned around and caught you staring. your eyes diverted quickly. she smirked.

"by the way, you look really good in that jersey babe" a warm feeling spread all over your face and you tried to not smile but you couldn’t. your girlfriends’ words always had that effect on you.

your mind was still on that comment when you started running laps, doing sit-ups & push ups. then you moved onto technical skills by throwing, passing, defending and shooting. which you had to admit, uma was pretty good at. mal though, not so much.

finally, came the mock-game. one goal. that’s all it was going to take for you to get in.

mal retired to the side to cheer you and uma on. she quickly understood that she was way better at watching tourney than actually playing it. she also had a hard time not burning the whole field to the ground with those flying projectiles being thrown at her.

once the whistle was blown, you looked to uma who was about to make a pass at you. the ball was in your hands, and you ran like hell towards the other end of the field. your technique was so precise, you were able to avoid/escape the other guys’ attempt to corner you and stop you from scoring. the other team members were whispering to eachother on the side, visibly surprised by your performance.

when you actually scored, you yelled from the top of your lungs. it was a cry, really. you couldn’t keep it in anymore. uma ran towards you and you jumped on her. she spun you around to celebrate and when you came down, you pecked her lips with your hands on her cheeks. you kissed mal as well when she ran and jumped on you.

after your little celebration, your eyes all went to coach jenkins. you tried to hold in the giant smirk that threatened to overtake your whole expression. after a beat, he smiled.

"you’re in."

you shrieked and celebrated with your girlfriends once more. you felt like you paved a way for something somehow, but you tried to not think about it too much.

on your way towards the cheerleaders locker room uma spoke up.

"i get why you like it. this is actually the most fun i’ve had in a while." she admitted. you were surprised to hear her say that.

"yeah? you should join the team. you’re really good, uma." you said.

"yeah, maybe."

[notelcol]

Moments with Scaramouche/Wanderer.🐱

Mildly edited, apologies for mistakes.

You had teamed up with Lumine when Sumeru came into trouble. The man at fault was Scaramouche, a Fatui Harbinger. But after hearing his story, you felt for him. You refused to let that to stop you from taking him down with Lumine and Nahida when the time came though. When your part was over, Lumine and yourself left the broken puppet for Nahida to deal with. Unlike Lumine, you looked back to see the face of the villain you had quashed. He looked utterly lost in that moment, a picture of true heartbreak.

You went to see him a few days later, after Nahida told you he was staying with her. He was not happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?!” He spat.

“Nahida told me you were here. I wanted to see how you were.” You suddenly felt foolish. But then you saw a glimmer of hope in his eye, before it was quickly masked with rage.

“I do not care for your silly human pity.” He stuck his nose up and crossed his arms. “Get out.” He snapped. With a sigh, you complied.

You decided to return the next day, that time you managed to keep him talking for longer. You tried again the next day and the one after that. Slowly you were gaining the trust of Scaramouche. He even allowed you to help him with his work for Nahida. Lumine was getting confused as to why you were never home when she came by, but you couldn’t tell her. How could you expect her to understand why you were getting close to the enemy, when you have no idea why it matters to you so much? When you caught yourself gazing into his eyes one day, you realised why this mattered. You loved him.

As time went on you had noticed he was gazing back. You had become sure he felt the same. You decided to face it and talk to him.

“Scara?” Your voice came out weak and shy. “I assume you’re probably wondering why I keep coming to visit you.” He closed his book at your words, nodding for you to continue. “I was confused for a while, but then I realised what it was. I…I -“ You were about to say it, but he cut you off and walked towards you.

“Stop. Don’t say it.” He swallowed nervously. “I can’t love you, I don’t have a heart. I will never be a part of human emotions.” He said, but you didn’t believe him. You knew he felt just as much as anyone, if not more.

“Really? Then why did you care so much when you lost? And why do you look so sad?” You had stepped closer to him, hoping he would fill the gap as you spoke.

“A heart is just a body part…true emotion lies in the soul.” You noticed he had come closer when his shaky breath caressed your cheek. “Your soul is the most beautiful and complicated thing I have ever seen.” You smiled with wonder as you touched his head, pointing to the soul behind his eyes.

“I…I feel pain. Why do your words hurt so much?” His voice shook as you wiped a lone tear from his face.

“They don’t need to. Stop fighting with yourself and feel all the things you force your soul to swallow.” You whispered as you pressed your forehead to his. His hand found your face and held it softly. For a moment he let his love in. For a moment.

“I can’t.” His hand fell sadly. He wished he could love you.

“You will be ready one day, I believe in you.” You finally let your hand fall from his cheek, then left. You knew you couldn’t return anymore. He would come to you when he’s ready to let you in.

Weeks go on and Scaramouche was no more. He erased himself from existence, forgotten by Teyvat. He too forgot, until Nahida returned his memories. Now all he could do was watch as you went about your life. It was comforting to him, to see you thrive. Though it filled him with regret, not loving you while he had the chance. He decided he has had enough for one day and gets up to leave.

“Scara? Or is it Wanderer now?” He turned to see you grinning at him. You had caught him watching you, but more importantly you recognised him. His mouth stayed open after his shocked gasp escaped it. You too, were surprised. Last you checked he had forgotten his life, yet here he was. He beat you to voicing your confusion.

“How do you know…you remember?” He ran to you and grabbed your shoulders. His frantic eyes searing into your own.

“I am a descender, like the traveler so I didn’t forget. I wanted to tell you…but the traveler said you forgot yourself and-“ He interrupted you.

“None of that matters…..you remember!” He laughed to the sky in triumph before pulling you into a passionate kiss. A kiss imbued with the joy of reunion and remembrance. When you pulled apart he kept you close and pressed his forehead to yours, like you had done the last time you saw him. You wished Lumime had told you he remembered himself now, but she had no idea you two were close. His thumbs stroked your cheeks, bringing you away from your thoughts.

“I love you.” He whispered with a gentle laugh. “I love you.” He repeated. You burst with love as he spun you around in his arms, welcoming the kiss he gave. This one slower and deeper, a moment that would last forever.

Thank you for reading this✨

[sanguinedipity]

Somethings You Just Can’t Speak About.

simon “ghost” riley x reader

angst

wc: 1.2k

simon watches you slip slowly through his fingers knowing there’s nothing he can do about it.

TW: depiction of PTSD, violence and depictions of the military.

He’d known you were crashing and burning for a while now. There was once a cloudy sort of content look in your eyes that he had admired, the illusion of you being in one piece maybe, and he couldn’t seem to recall the exact moment it had been replaced with cold, grey stone. A wall you’d put in between yourself and what you did - and it probably helped for a while, to hide behind it and convince yourself you were doing the right thing. What was best for everyone else so the people in their homes, washing their dishes and working their 9-5s, didn’t have to see what you saw. The life draining out of eyes and the blood staining concrete. But a killer on a mission is a killer all the same; you’d ran out of justification for your actions. He wishes he could say he’d been concerned seen the changes in you but really he’d praised you for it. you’d become so much more obedient, so quiet. Your voice no longer filled the team’s communication channels, or the mess hall, or the briefing tent because you were somewhere else entirely, on some other plane of existence where he couldn’t reach you.

Simon only really began to notice the signs on your second to last mission together, he didn’t know that at the time and if he did he would never have let you step onto that aircraft. It was a routine stealth operation, no altercations, just smoothly in and out, but of course it would be too much to ask for a mission to go to plan. The village you were making your way through had been invaded by foot soldiers for an underground crime ring that the 141 had been tasked with gathering intel about. The organisation’s core members had recently abandoned their headquarters; a house at the heart of the completely remote village which was your team’s point of contact. Make it to that house, source the information needed, and escape, that was the plan. However, on the route to the house that you were walking with Ghost, the streets were littered with bodies from the gang’s invasion. Whole families had been forced from their homes and slaughtered on their doorsteps. This was your first shift in character he had witnessed, it was small but usually you’d utter an apology to the people who had died for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Instead, you disregarded them and you stepped over each body calculatedly like you were on autopilot. He wishes he had stopped you on the side of that road and shaken the life back into you but he was a creature of habit. The worst habit being that he never got too close, so he doesn’t have to feel weak and dependent. Feeling weak would be so much better than whatever he feels right now. The mix of regret and guilt and loss enveloped his chest and suffocated any hope he had left.

Suddenly, muffled voices were heard from inside one of the now ransacked houses. There were two men that were clearly gang-members and two other voices that belonged to civilians sobbing and screaming. You didn’t react, there was no suggestion that you’d even heard the voices over whatever was happening inside your head but you approached the house anyway. Into the doorway and through the living room until you were standing in a small kitchen where the voices were coming from. A mother and daughter cower on the tiled floor looking up at the two gang-members until a shot from Ghost’s gun wiped out one and your knife plunged into the other. You’d never usually use your combat knife. It was something Ghost used to muse about as the blade in your holster was spotless and without a scratch. At least it was. Watching the now dull and stained edge sink into the man’s neck made Ghost’s hair stand on end. Something had gone seriously wrong. Mind-breakingly wrong. He swore it had been only a few weeks since he had last saw it gleaming at him from your utility vest. This is when the dread set in. One of his teammates had slipped completely under his radar and into some inescapable darkness, he was responsible for you, how did he let this happen? You had already gotten up and began to usher the civilians upstairs and asked them to remain silent until help arrived.

“Good work Lieutenant.” was all he said to you and you didn’t say anything back, just gave a curt nod before exiting the house and continuing on your route. He would try to talk to you the rest of the way there but his fears had already been established. There was no saving a soldier lost to their own mind. He could only imagine what was playing over and over again behind your eyes and what was haunting your dreams as you tried to sleep that night. On your next mission everything unraveled which caused lead to your discharge, your entire team had watched something snap in you as you took down your target, unsheathing your knife and buried it in his chest again and again and again and again. You had to be dragged off of his long-cold body, kicking and screaming face drenched in his blood. He’d heard all of the wild stories about the incident; that you were possessed, were a secret serial killer, sleeper agent or a secret russian spy. He’d grown so tired of closing down every conversation that surrounded these theories and he could only imagine what it was like for you. To have so many witnesses as you broke down and not even be present yourself. You’d never be able to tell him what had happened, what had flipped some invisible switch inside you and turned you into a hollow shell. And he was the only one who seemed to remember the real you, the one that had joined the special operations unit after only 5 years of service because of your talent and drive, the you that would do anything to save a life but couldn’t forgive yourself for the ones you had to take, the you that had given her entire life to this job to be part of something bigger than yourself only to be thrown away at a moment’s notice and have your good name tarnished by locker room talk and conspiracy. It still makes guilt creep up his spine to this day, all of his repentance manifests in his dreams as he watches the inky black void swallow you whole or when he’s walking down the street sometimes he swears he saw your reflection in a shop’s window or heard your laugh from around a corner. But you’re long gone. When something dies, that’s it, it’s dead. You’ve got to let it be. He needs to let you be.

[uhmprobablynot]

I know I’m late asf,, but part 2 of the bully fic was so good😫😫

I need part 3 rn!!💥💳💥💳💥

(But fr, your writing was so so good and I’ve read it like 5 times now lmfao)

As you wish my friends,,, Bully!Schlatt Part three (sorry this was late. I was sick than had to finish finals,,,) neway

Part One > Part Two > Part Three

The next day, you expected a text from Schlatt. He had texted you good morning on Sunday, then following the library situation he texted you, then after practice he texted you, when he went to bed he texted you. You thought he would have texted you good morning today, too. You brushed it off. He’s only had your number for 48 hours, and it’s not like you were dating or anything. Plus, you were headed to the class you shared with him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t text. He knew he would see you.

Yeah. That’s what you went with.

Schlatt wasn’t at the table when you walked in. Usually, he sits there waiting for you. Shrugging it off, you sit down at the table, pulling out all of your things and checking your phone to see if he sent anything, even though you knew it hadn’t buzzed yet. You sigh and as you look up; you see Schlatt walk past your table, going to sit somewhere in the back. You watch him settle down as you feel your heart settle down into your stomach. He doesn’t look at you, he just focuses on the smart board in the front of the room. You smoother the pain before also focusing on the board and blinking away the tears filling your eyes. The lesson goes on forever. You swear you can feel him staring at the back of your head, but you’re too afraid to let yourself hope. The moment the professor calls class, you are out of your seat and rushing home. When the front door closes behind you, you let yourself cry.

Classes for the rest of the day can wait.

You say the same thing on Tuesday, on Wednesday you justify not going so you don’t have to see him again. Every time your phone buzzes, your heart breaks a little more because it’s still not Schlatt.

There is a knock on your front door and your heart jumps with hope. You wipe your eyes and take a deep breath before opening the door. On the other side is Ash.

“Zach told me Schlatt has been weird at practice so he sent me here to see-” She looks up at you from digging in her purse. “What’s wrong?” Her simple question sets you off again. You feel your eyes fill up once again and she asks if she can come in. You nod, turning to sit back on the couch. She puts her bag down and sits next to you. “Y/n, what happened?”

“It shouldn’t matter,” you sob. “We weren’t even dating.” Ash makes a sad sound of understanding.

“It’s hurting you like this. It fucking matters.” She says firmly. She grabs tissues from her purse and hands you the pack. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I- I don’t,” you stutter. “I don’t know if I can. Some stuff happened.” Ash flashes you a look of pure anger and you quickly correct. “Some very consensual stuff happened.” She sighs with relief.

“I am an adult. I’ve probably read worse, done worse.” She nudges your shoulder and you laugh lightly.

You explain to her everything that happened. The drive from the game, dinner, the drive home, how he kissed you in front of your door, the library (she made an amusing squeal as you told her the story before she whispered ‘we’re supposed to be mad at him shush’ to herself). How he pretended you didn’t exist this morning.

“What a dick. What the fuck.” Ash was angry, and you envied the fact that she could be. You wanted to be angry with him, but all you felt was hurt and embarrassment. She is silent for a moment, clearly pondering something. “I’ve decided you’re coming with me on tomorrow.” You look at her, confused. She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Sport guy parties are always on Thursday and the baseball team is going to be there.” You shake your head, disagreeing with her, and she only smiles wide and nods. “You are going to look hot, and show that fucker what he missed out on.”

“Ash, I can barely think of him without sobbing, let alone going to a party and trying to pretend I’m doing better than I am.”

“You will, because you are.” She stood up. “Here is my number just in case you need. I’ll be here at 9P.” She leans down and kisses your forehead. “You are beautiful, you are kind, you are better.” She picks up her bag and walks to the door. She blows you a kiss and walks out. You smile genuinely for the first time in a few days.

Thursday night comes faster than you expected it to. You feel great and, according to Ash’s reaction when she saw you, you look great too.

She leads you to the kitchen, where she pours you a drink. The music is pounding against your skull and the already small enough house is crowded with too many people. Ash taps your shoulder and leans to your ear.

“Zach just texted me he is here. Are you good if I go find him fast?” You smile and nod, telling her it’s fine even though you’re dreading being alone here. She kisses your check and leaves to find her boyfriend. Not knowing if Schlatt is here or going to be is driving you crazy. You think you see him every time a tall brunette moves in the corner of your eye. Your fingers itch to text him, your heart agreeing, saying that it’s the perfect opportunity to try, but you ignore them both and move through the crowd. You hope that in your aimless crowd managing you find the bathroom, or just a quiet enough space to take a breath.

You spot a hallway with little people and make your way that way. As you turn the corner, your heart sinks. A white blonde girl has Schlatt pushed against a wall with her lips kissing at his neck. Schlatt is mumbling something to her with one hand on her shoulder and another at her waist. You stand there and stare without meaning to. The girl spots you first, saying something you can’t make out between the heartbeat rushing in your ears, the music pounding into your skull, and battling to not let yourself throw up. You push your way back through the crowd, this time not caring to be polite, just wanting to get out.

You eventually find the front door and push out, letting the cooler outside air soothe you. You send a text to Ash letting her know you left and not to wait for you. Holding your arms against your stomach, you walk a direction you think is towards your house. Someone is calling after you, but the noise gets lost chaos of your head.

“Y/n!” the voice yells as a car pulls up beside you, rolling slowly to keep up with your pace. “Please get in the car.” It’s Schlatt. You glance at him, watching as he shifts his focus from you to the road, then back to you. You shake your head and keep walking, looking straight in front of you. He calls your name again. “Where are you even going?”

“Home.”

“Well, your place is in the opposite direction.” You stop walking and take a deep breath. Then turn on your toe and start walking the aforementioned direction. “Jesus Christ.” You hear him yell. His car makes a U-turn on the street. “Come on,” he says harshly. “Get in the damn car.”

“No.” You yell, quickening your pace. Maybe if he acted like he cared half of this much earlier this week, none of this would have happened, maybe. You walk past the house party again with Schlatt still trailing you and calling your name. He is getting more and more frustrated the more you ignore him, but every time you look at him, you only see that blonde girl.

“Fuck!” you hear him yell as you walk into the nearby quad; you knew it was slightly dangerous to cut through here but you just needed to get away from him, and it was well lit enough. A car door slams and you hear his calling of your name continue. “Please, just listen to me for one goddamn minute?” He continues to yell.

“No,” You turn to face him. “No, I won’t you know why?” Schlatt is silent as you yell at him. “You ignored me all week. Which, yeah, would hurt either way but after-” Your voice cracked as the sadness you pushed down finally came rushing back to the surface. “After what we did, you ignored me.” Schlatt flinches and tries to say something, but you hold up a finger. “Then when I finally get myself together enough to go out into the public,” You point somewhere in the general direction of the party house. “One of the first things I see is a girl all over you, and now I feel crazy because we weren’t together, so it shouldn’t bother me.” You sob and Schlatt is just staring at you, but you keep going, glad to finally say this. “I feel crazy. I feel cheap. I feel used.” Your voice is hoarse and your throat is sore from the yelling. And Schlatt is just staring at you. The quad is silent, even the crickets and cicadas listening.

“I’m sorry.” Schlatt’s voice cracks as tears flood to his eyes. “I didn’t mean-” He rubs his face and runs his hands through his hair. “I never meant to make you feel that way, any of those ways.” He takes a step towards you and you take a step back. “And Nic- And she I didn’t want that,” he rubs his neck as if trying to wipe her away. “She has been after me months and I’ve been telling her I was interested in someone else.” His eyes lock with yours. “I am interested in someone else, and that was me trying to get her off.”

“Then why?” You plead. “Why ignore me like that?” Schlatt presses his lips together and runs his hands through his hair again.

“Because I thought that if I ignored it, it would go away. That if I acted like it didn’t matter, then it wouldn’t.” You scoff and turn to walk away again, but Schlatt quickly adds, “I thought that if I pretended I wasn’t falling in love with you, I could convince myself that was the truth.”

You stop walking and let his words sink into your brain. You looked back towards him.

“Please don’t say anything.” Schlatt closes his eyes and inhales. “Just please let me take you back home.” You nod. He reaches for your hand and you grab it. He leads you back to his car and opens the door for you when you get there. You climb in and take a deep breath. The smell of him completely envelops you. Tears come to your eyes as you let yourself realize how much you missed him. As he enters the car, he sees the tears.

“Oh sweetheart,” Schlatt grabs your cheeks and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry.” You silently nod and he drives to your place.

When you get to your apartment, he walks you to your door. It is a bittersweet reminder of that very first night. You insert the key to your door and push it open. Schlatt puts his hand on your shoulder and calls your name.

“I really am sorry.” His eyes have tears in them again. You grab his hand and pull him lightly through your door. Schlatt resists for a minute before letting you bring him inside.

“Sit,” You point to the couch. “I missed you or whatever.” He smiles lightly, rubs his eyes, and sits down. “Can I get you a drink?” Schlatt nods and clears his throat.

“Water, please?”

“Coming right up, make yourself comfy.” You make your way to the kitchen and grab a glass of water for him. You take a deep breath before moving back near the couch and handing him the glass before sitting next to him. Schlatt takes a sip and hums thankfully.

“I know it’s my fault,” he puts the glass down on the table in front of him. “But I really, really missed you this week.” His arm drapes against the back of the couch resting behind your head. You let a breath that mimics a sarcastic laugh. You pinch his side and he yelps before rubbing it with the hand not behind you.

“There now we’re even.” You say through giggles. Schlatt laughs and smiles widely; you feel your heart thump against your ribs. He meets your eyes once he calms down.

“One more time, I am sor-”

Your lips against his cuts him off. He kisses back almost instantly, the hand on the back of the couch moving to rest on the back of your head. You pull away slightly.

“No more of that. I said we were even.” Schlatt smirks at your comment before pulling you back into a kiss. You both lose yourselves in the kiss, completely enveloped in each other. You bite his lip lightly and he groans as he does you move down to his neck. Kissing and nipping it, making sure that in the morning if that girl came near, Schlatt would know who he wanted there, who got to be there. Schlatt pulled you over into his lap, but as you brought your leg to straddle him, you knocked the glass of water on to the floor.

Both Schlatt and you stare at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. You lean your head on Schlatt’s shoulder before standing up.

“I’ll clean this up.” He stands up from the couch. “Where are the towels?” You point to the linen closet as you pick the glass up and put it into the sink. Schlatt had moved back to the puddle in the meantime, laying the towel down and trying to mop up the water.

“Schlatt,” You call to him. He hums in response, still focused on cleaning up. You call his name again and he looks up at you. “The floor can wait.” You reach out your hand and he grabs it. Schlatt looks at you, confused, before you walk backwards to your bedroom. You watch as a smile comes to his face as he understands where you’re leading him.

As you both cross the door into your bedroom, he kisses you again. Except this time it’s harder and messier, his teeth biting at your lip and his hands in a bruising grasp at your hips. His thumbs dip under the hem of your shirt, grazing the skin there.

“May I?” He asks, pulling at the shirt. You whisper a ‘yes’ and he pulls the shirt over your head and throws it towards some corner of your room. His hands explore the new skin as his lips explore down to the skin of your neck. You moan lightly as his lips and hands meet near your collar bone. He thumbs at the front edge of your bra.

“This too?” he asks and you nod. He kisses your lips again as his hands move behind to your and he unlocks it and lets it drop. “Holy fucking christ,” He mumbles something before his hands move to grab them.

Schlatt walks the both of backwards until you hit the edge of the bed. You sit and he kneels down in front of you and his hands drag up to meet the waistband of your bottoms. He asks for permission again and you grant it before he pulls everything down, leaving you bare in front of him.

He uses his big hands to grab your knees and pull them apart and cursing under his breath as he looks at you. His lips replace his hands as slowly he kisses up your left thigh all the way to your hip before moving back down and repeating it on the other side. You quickly get impatient as he keeps getting close to your apex but never touching it.

“Schlatt please,” you plead and he looks up at you from between your thighs.

“Yes ma’am,” He smirks before diving nose first into you. He licks from your slit before moving his tongue to your clit. He moves slowly but speeds up as he hears you moan. As his tongue laps at you, one of his fingers enters you slowly. He thrusts it in and out a few times before adding a second one. With his finger messaging your walls and his tongue on your clit, you cum fast and hard. Schlatt works you through it, letting you come down before he removes his fingers and face leaves you.

“I have been dreaming of that since the library.” He licks his fingers before using the inside of his elbow to wipe the rest of you off his mouth. His face is red and his eyes are dark and glistening. You grab his cheeks and pull him up to you, kissing him. His lips taste slightly bitter as your slick still sticks to his mouth. As you kiss him, you reach your hands under his shirt, pushing it up. Understanding the silent command, he breaks from the kiss to pull it off, adding it to the pile of discarded clothing. You drag your hands down his chest, admiring him before your hands dip down to palm him through his pants. Schlatt groans at the euphoric relief of pressure. You undo his belt and pants button, pushing down his pants and underwear as far as you could, then letting him pull the rest of his pants off. You move your hands down to his cock, beginning to jerk him off, but he stops you.

“No, no, this is me making up for everything.” He says, “move up and lay back. Let me take care of you.” You smile gently and push yourself up on the bed. Schlatt moves on top of you, using one of his arms to hold his weight and the other to rub circles on your hip. “You’re so beautiful,” he kisses you quickly. “You know that, right? You know I think you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen?” You turned your head away from him, embarrassed, but he used the hand on your hip to turn your face back to him. “Look at me, I’m serious.” You only can nod at the sudden sternness in his voice. “I’ll repeat it well past the point that you believe it, too.” He kisses you as he moves his cock towards your entrance. “You sure?”

“Yes. Schlatt, please, fuck.”

“That is the anticipated point, yes.” He smirks before pushing into you slowly. You moan and wince at the intrusion. He stops as he fully enters you, letting you adjust.

“Move, fuck, please move.” You beg. He groans and thrusts in and out of you. You moan as his thumb rubs circles against your clit. As he brings you closer to your edge, your walls vise around him, causing his pace to falter.

“Baby,” he says through gritted teeth. “You’re gripping me so tight I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” You moan, causing Schlatt to pull out of you and cum all over your stomach. His thumb, however, quickly gets back to work on your clit, making you cum again. You both just lay there panting for a moment, catching your breaths. He stands up and pulls his underwear on before leaving the room quickly to grab and wet a towel. When he reenters the room, he wipes you down and cleans his cum off of your stomach. Once you’re cleaned up, Schlatt grabs his shirt off the floor and pulls it over your head and climbs into bed next yo you.

He lifts an arm up, inviting you to come lay on his chest, and you happily do. Schlatt kisses the top of your head as comfortable, homely, and tired silence fills your bedroom. You play with his fingers as your brain shuts down for the night.

“You know,” you say, he sleepily hums into your hair. “I think i’m falling in love with you too.”

[reminiscingtonight]

Break With Me

Leah Williamson x Reader

Word Count: 756

A/N: Based on the song by Shy Martin.

[WOSO Masterlist]

“Hey.”

It’s quiet out. Dark. It’s quite nearly midnight so you’re not sure what else you expected.

Leah’s leaning against her door, face half hidden by the night’s shadows. 

“Hey.”

It’s only one word. But both of you can feel the weight hanging there.

There’s a lump in the back of your throat, and no method of swallowing can get it to go away. You weakly lift your arm, showing the bottle in your grasp. 

“I brought a bottle of red.”

Shuffling a bit to the side, Leah lets you slip through the door. It’s only through pure painstaking will that you stop yourself from turning just the slightest, from pressing a soft kiss against Leah’s cheek. You pretend not to notice the way she bites at her lips, obviously thinking the same thing.

Sitting on the couch, close enough that you can feel her body heat but far enough where you aren’t touching, you can’t help but wonder how it’s become like this. 

Your time here in England has been amazing. Playing overseas was never in your plans but when you got the opportunity to do so, you took it without a second thought. Arsenal was everything you dreamed of and more. Leah was everything you dreamed of and more. 

Leah wasn’t someone you were expecting, but from the moment you met, it was like something just clicked. The two of you fell and fell hard.

Sometimes you wish you could go back to what it was like in the beginning. To the days where nothing else seemed to exist but the two of you.

Three years. That’s how long you had to delude yourself into thinking everything was going to work out for the better. That’s how long you had to delude yourself into thinking you’ve found your home. 

It started as whispers. Your contract was up in the air, everyone knew that. You went into the new season not particularly aiming to get your contract renewed, but knowing your own worth to the team, it was always in the back of your mind.

It angered your girlfriend. “Why would you want to go? I’m here. I should be reason enough to stay.”

You didn’t know how to voice your thoughts. Leah was enough to stay for. You just didn’t know if you could hedge your bets on Arsenal thinking the same. 

It started as whispers, the rumors that Arsenal wasn’t going to resign you. 

The fighting instantly turned into nervous reassurances. Leah didn’t want you to worry. She tried to convince you out of looking around at other clubs. “Arsenal would be a fool to let you go.”

In the end it didn’t matter what you or Leah wanted.

It started as whispers and turned into a horrifying reality.

“Our time together has been great. But you’re just not what we’re looking for.”

Arsenal doesn’t offer you another contract. 

And you have no choice but to go.

“I wanted you to stick around.”

It feels like a shot to the heart. You can hear the raw emotions in Leah’s voice. 

You swallow. “I know.”

Leah wipes at her eyes. You pretend not to see the tears.

“I hate how this hurts.”

“I know,” you whisper.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. You and Leah, the two of you were supposed to be one of those great love stories. One of those couples where everything goes right and everyone lives happily ever after.

You knew it. She knew it. Everyone around you knew it.

So yeah, it hurts. And god does it hurt.

“Can you just-- can you hold me?”

A part of you wants to say no. The two of you have already hurt each other enough. Doing this would only hurt each other more.

But the other part of you knows you could never deny her anything. 

Leah’s quick to burrow herself against you when you open your arms. It feels like home, how perfectly she fits there.

You shut your eyes, trying to commit all of this to memory. The feel of her breath puffing gently against your cheek. The feel of her presence calming your heart. The feel of how much you love her.

The feel of everything you ever wanted slipping through your fingertips.

And when the morning comes, you’re on your way to the airport. Back across the ocean. Back to a house that’ll never feel like home. Back to the life you had before you ever knew Leah.

[blubffsd]

WE WERE ONE – K. MBAPPÉ.

summary: the frustration of what was at some point but not anymore.

note: based on the song "Uno los dos" by Miranda! (it's literally the lyrics but in english lol)

Leave it at that, my love.

I don't want any more excuses, please.

What used to be dates planned weeks in advance became texts between us apologizing to each other because an unforeseen event came up and we can't make it, promising to make it up. But it never happened.

How long have we been one?

They ask me and you answer.

I don't understand, for the rest of the people we were really soul mates, we knew each other as well as ourself. Always thinking the same, doing the same things, laughing at the same jokes.

"We are perfect for each other" you used to say when we both said the same thing at the same time. But painfully it was just that, the sentence you told me as a joke, instead of fact.

And it's that you, it wasn't you without me, no

You were nothing and I didn't exist without your company.

I think you know well that little by little we began to depend on each other, at first it was cute the way we both needed each other to do something, but then it just got insane for us.

Heart, give me some reason.

We have lost personality in this relationship.

And as much as we knew how much it hurt ourselves, we weren't willing to accept the situation between us and how bad everything was. We refused to accept that us no longer has a solution, and that we are no longer ourselves, not even a little.

Tonight I will cry so much for you that I will let you go.

I will wipe away with tears all the blood that has flowed here.

But the two of us always knew that our attempt to ignore the mess within us was going to be in vain. Ours no longer worked, we were no longer a team, I didn't work on my own and you didn't work on yours.

The CD we had compiled with us in mind, yesterday was my favorite record and today is the saddest thing I heard.

Although as much as I try over and over again, you and I know that ours is going to be very difficult to erase from our minds, we have so many of our things. We even had songs, remember? The first I chose, the second you and so on. Yesterday I listened to them again. And I cried.

Today, for the first time, I will confess to you

that it is hard for me to leave us

and that I don't know how long I will take to get used to it.

I also admit that sometimes I like to think that we tried it again and that this time it does work, but as much as it pains me to admit it, that is not possible. Although I prefer to think about the remote idea of ���​a "we" than the fact that we are no longer. I need to get used to that.

I was never dependent on me, rather I was on you.

You gave yourself in love to the game

and although it hasn't been bad at all,

I want to escape,

let's recover our freedom.

We had beautiful moments together, remember? Sometimes I wish we could have done things differently, we could have had it all. But things happened the way they did and it sure was for a reason, we weren't ready, and we still aren't.

We spent entire nights listening to our CD, at times I only heard your passion

but now that you tell me this, I must admit that I want to be myself again, I no longer remember what I was like yesterday.

You told me that you got used to me and I to you, that eventually we got tired but we depended on each other to be okay. We love each other, ours was nice, but we must let go. And you were right.

I swear I don't, I don't hold a grudge against you, I just want to go back to being that girl I once introduced you to.

It's good that we reacted in time, don't you think? We're not quite lost yet, you go back to being you and I go back to being me. It's sad that we became each other's ideal type, I feel like I don't know you. And you don't know me either.

The CD we had compiled with us in mind, yesterday was my favorite record and today is the saddest thing I heard.

But honestly the saddest thing I heard was your goodbye when you left, and with this letter I part with you, Ky.

[patibato]

[Bitter Sweet Sixteen] 002-B03 - He Follows

Momiji: Um, okay then! Let's start our "concept improvement" meeting!

Akuta: On it!

Momiji: The point is to differentiate ourselves from our competitors while grasping the needs of our target audience—

Taking note of what we ourselves find affinity with will be essential to that.

Akuta: Com-pe-ti-tors… di-ffer-en-ti-ate… a-ffi-ni-ty… hmmm… nnnnngh…

Momiji: (Akuta-kun gets nosebleeds when he thinks too much, doesn't he. I'll have to keep an eye on that as we continue.)

Akuta: Needs… …

Momiji: Right away, huh. Let me wipe that.

Akuta: Mghgh…

Momiji: Let's see… how about we start by thinking about ourselves, and hold back on the business talk?

Just as an example, do you ever find yourself wishing things were more a certain way?

Akuta: Wishing?

Momiji: Yeah. Those would be your "needs". I think it'd be a good idea to draw out the plan from there.

Akuta: My needs…

---

Nanaki: I know. But—haven't you ever had something you can't help but think about, asleep or awake?

That's how I'm feeling right now. But I could say the same about you…

That concept you showed us earlier was completely cluttered with stuff you wanted to do.

Maybe it'd be a good idea to focus on one thing you think about often to use as a base.

---

Akuta: Yeah… I get it… yeah…

*nosebleed*

Momiji: (I'll have to wipe that soon… but first—)

It's the same when it comes to movies.

If you watch all of a certain director's movies, you can see common themes between them, can't you?

Those are the "needs" the director wants to satisfy.

I believe that's where unique concepts are born from.

"It didn't exist, so I made it myself" is something that's often said about not just movies, but books and comics and all sorts of works as well.

Since what they want to do is a matter they think about on a daily basis, they'll naturally develop a deeper understanding of it.

Using that as the basis, you can create art. You can create decisively—

Akuta: Nnnngh… hm!? I think I get what you mean!

It's like Steve Spielhamburg's movies, right!? Those have common themes, right!?

That guy probably wanted to give kids dreams! Seems like he wasn't blessed when he was little!

So the thing he wanted was to go on more adventures as a kid! And see dinosaurs and stuff!

That's why his movies were overflowing with risk and thrill! He wanted to fly through the sky with aliens!

Momiji: That's probably true. …So, thinking about yourself now, what themes and needs do you want to satisfy—

What can be made from them that's unique to the team? Think about that—

Akuta: Haa haa, haa haa haa haa…!

Momiji: A-Akuta-kun, you're bleeding too much…!

Akuta: Haa haa haa haa…! Sensei… 'm feelin' kinda di… zzy.

*thump*

Momiji: Aaaaaakuta-kun!? Is it anaemia… Akuta-kun! AKUTA-KUUUN!

---

Nanaki: Haven't you ever had something you can't help but think about, asleep or awake?

Akuta: Asleep.

Akuta: Awake.

Akuta: Something I can't help but think about.

Momiji: Wait, nothing?

Akuta: Nothing!

Momiji: Even something you worry about would do.

Akuta: My only worry is that I DON'T have anything I always worry about or want to do!

Momiji: (He's so optimistic and unconcerned… That's one of his good points, though.)

More importantly, is your anaemia better now?

Akuta: It got better after eating a ton of Ushio's chocolate~

Momiji: (Anyway, what should our next move be? It felt like we were on the right track.)

Akuta: Don't worry so much, Sensei. I've got my own idea.

Momiji: Which is?

Akuta: Set out on a journey to find the source of our worries!

All of us were at the old school building that night, but our reasons are all different.

Momiji: Ah… that's true. But you don't know each other's circumstances in detail.

Akuta: Right! Seems like they've got reasons for things getting so complicated, yeah? I'll start by asking about that.

Momiji: (I already heard from Nanaki-kun back on Shodoshima, but… I'm curious about the others as well.)

I want to know too. …That includes you, Akuta-kun.

Akuta: Eeh, I can't tell you that. There's still a biiit of time until then, yeah? For the movie's plot progression!

That said, see ya!

*door closes*

Momiji: Hey, hold on, this isn't a movie—

*doorbell*

Momiji: (A-a visitor…! This is the worst time for that!)

No choice…! Akuta-kun! Don't forget to record your weekly report!

Akuta: Sure!

Momiji: (The reason Akuta-kun was at the building… I figured he just went to shoot a movie.)

(But if he won't tell me, maybe there's something deeper to it.)

Momiji: (Like, if it's to do with that missing student, Ohno-kun I think it was? Maybe he was trying to get that incident on camera or something.)

I'm really curious…

(What would motivate him to sneak in there alone in the dead of night?)

(He's typically the kind of kid who doesn't feel any negative emotions at all…)

*doorbell*

Momiji: Yes! I'm coming!

Shumai: Bark bark bark bark! Grr grr grr grr! Grr grr grr grr! Woof woof woof woof!

Momiji: Down, Shumai! No barking! You'll scare the customer!

Apologies for the wait, who is—

*door opens*

Momiji: Huh, nobody's here? That's odd…

Shumai: Grrrrrrrr… awoooooo…

Momiji: Come on, Shumai! Calm down—

…Huh?

??: …

Momiji: (Who's this? And how did he get in without me noticing?)

??: … …

Momiji: (Why's he sniffing the house…!?)

??: Huuum… the smell is here, and yet…

Momiji: …

??: Hey you, human over there.

I'm on the hunt for a lost article—are you familiar with it?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

[faroreswinds]

is GW's direction really that crazy when you think about it? feels more like people are just salty that Claude didn't team up with their faves on his route because people look at Claude as a third party that validates their side. But what I saw in Hopes fit what I thought about Claude from Houses Claude does whatever he feels most benefits his goals at the moment regardless of morals. He teams up with Faerghus when he feels it benefits him most, he teams up with the Church when he feels it benefits him most, he teams up with the Empire when he feels it benefits him most and he throws his allies to the dogs when he feels it benefits him most. Like in Houses, Claude tells Dimi before leaving in Azure Moon that this is how he operates and that he only makes moves that he thinks benefit him. That's the story trying to communicate how Claude and Dimi are different. Do fans think he's just trying to be cute or that his words mean nothing? Claude's not a man of rigid principles, he's an opportunist. He, the other characters and supplementary material repeat that same message about him over and over again too. like Claude's not supposed to be a uniformly kind person, he's friendly and pleasant to talk to but someone that can be amoral or moral depending on the circumstances. And in GW, an alliance with Edelgard was more personally beneficial to him than trying to team up with Faerghus. They have the bigger force, they're paying Leicester significant reparations, they're getting stability at his southern border and they want to eliminate the same threat.

I mean.... It kinda is a crazy direction.

The issue isn't just the differences between Hopes!Claude and Houses!Claude. That could be a whole other explanation on its own, but since you have framed it as in-character, let's go over the other reason why it is a poor direction on its own.

The biggest issue, anon, is that Hopes!Claude... is an idiot.

Nothing he does or says makes much sense when you add up all the worldbuilding elements together into one big pile.

For example, he decides to side with Edelgard and wipe out the Church. He believes this will end the war quicker, and remove Edelgard's justification for war. And if that justification is gone, then Edelgard will have no choice but to cease her aggressions, or else the war is no longer justified.

However, this logic ignores sooooo many things. The first is that Edelgard publicly declares that the Kingdom and Alliance are false nations that only exist due to meddling forces. That should be a red flag right there and then. Not only that, but Edelgard invaded his nation and beelined for the capital. That should have been another red flag. If Edelgard didn't wish to take over the Alliance, she would have had no need to go for the throat.

Claude even admits that Edelgard might not stop her war. He should know that someone may not stop a war just because it is no longer "justified". And yet, he continues to side with her.

Here is another one. Claude puts a lot of blame on the Church for... basically everything wrong with Foldan. Forced marriages. Fierce border protections. The existence of nobility. The lack of freedom for nobles. I mean, just everything and anything you can think of, in his eyes it is the fault of Rhea and her Church.

But how can he come to that conclusion? Does he live under a rock? Is he not the leader of the Alliance? Does he not know that Edmund, within his own Alliance territory, makes trades with other nations outside of Foldan? When he went to school, did he not see how people of Duscur, Brigid, and Almyra got places in the classroom? How a woman from overseas got to be a Knight of Seiros? Even if he only spent two weeks there, surely he saw something, no?

He is also a prince of another nation. A nation with no Church, and no Crests. And they still have a King and nobility of their own. So why is he blaming the Church for such things? He literally is from another nation.

Hopes!Claude feels like he was written by a young author who is just starting out. There is no logic to his thinking. He just hates the Church because the writers needed him to.

And what makes it worse is that Claude is supposed to be the smart one. He is lauded as the brilliant tactician. The guy who thinks 5 steps ahead in every chess match. But he comes across as the most ignorant of the three lords, who cannot see past his own nose.

So yes, this is why is it a crazy direction. It's not just because of any misalignment of his character from Houses. It's because within Hopes itself, Claude is just a moron that it is hard to take him and his thought processes seriously.

[lvrhughes]

Can't Sleep Without You | N. Hischier

pairing: Nico Hischier x gn!reader (I believe)

word count: 2k

warnings: none?

summary: After you and Nico break you can’t sleep, til you show up at his place after a night out

not my gif!

“I’m done! We’re done! We cannot do this anymore, there’s too many fights, we’re barely together anymore.”

The words were haunting, being yelled at you by the man you thought you’d marry. Two weeks, it had been two weeks since the breakup, the worst two weeks of your life. You couldn’t sleep, you could barely eat, your friends were being ghosted, and yet, when the devils games would appear on your tv, he looked fine. 

It broke your heart a little more every time you would see pictures or videos of him, smiling and happy, while you were barely living. Why did he deserve to be happy now? Why did he get to not mourn the death of their relationship?

Yet behind the screens, he was as bad as you. The team tried endlessly to get him to come celebrate the win, but he’d never, choosing to stay in. trying to sleep away all the pain he caused, he wished he’d held on, wished he tried to work everything out, instead of just leaving. 

He’d stalk your friends on social media, seeing if you’d been with them at all, for two weeks, nothing. It was like you didn’t exist on social media, but then the third week, alone in his apartment, scrolling through instagram, he saw you again. Smiling, dancing, having a good time. All while he wallowed in his room, alone, his team out celebrating. He tried to see where you were, seemingly the same bar the team had gone to. 

When the notification of your best friend went live, he never clicked anything so fast, the shaky camera pointed at you when he joined, jumping around, dancing, he could see his team in the back, watching Dawson walk up to you. The music was too loud to hear anything else, but he could tell it wasn’t a completely innocent sentence when a blush covered your cheeks. Jealousy filled him quickly, he knew he had no right but he couldn’t not. So he decided if you were going to move on he was too, he changed into something more appropriate for going out and left. The bar was just down the street from him, only a couple minute walk. He made it there fast, with ease, slipping in to find his team. 

“NICO!” Jack was the first to see him and share his excitement at seeing the captain. That made everyone’s head turn, smiling at him, some even running to hug him when they spotted him. When his entrance settled down, he saw Dawson sitting with you, talking, flirting, he couldn’t tell the difference with the jealousy that filled him.

He could faintly hear your laugh over the excruciatingly loud music, seeing your head fall back. To him you were still the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen, it pained him to see you happy with his teammate. He was mesmerized staring at you until you felt his eyes on you, turning the catch him staring. He could see the way the joy, happiness, fell from your eyes at the sight of him. His heart shattered at how your eyes fell when you saw him, making him want to turn out and leave, never to be seen again, shamed for what he did. 

He saw Dawson say something to you, it was quiet, more whisper, then moved his arm around your waist, leading you to your friends. The tears filled your eyes quickly when they caught sight of Nico, his hair falling perfectly just like you’d remembered, his eyes shining in the dim light. Seeing him through all the effort you’d put into trying to move on out the window, seeing him made you need him almost more than you ever had. The sleepless night, the inability to eat feelings returning. 

Dawson held you tight against him, bringing you back to your friends. Raising his hand to wipe away your tears, his touch was gentle, almost enough to make you cry more. 

“I’m going to take her home, okay?” Dawson yelled to your friends when he got close enough, grabbing your bag from the table they had. They nodded, seeing Nico in the distance, the tears on your face, connecting the dots, they knew you shouldn’t be here anymore. 

When you turned around to try and find Nico one last time, he was gone. He was practically running home, fighting the urge to get you back, tell you how he regrets everything, fighting tears while he ran. He made it home in about a minute, slamming his door opened and closed fast, collapsing on his bed. 

Dawson had led you out to his car, asking for your address.

“No.” That elicited a very confused look out of Dawson.

“What?”

“Bring me to Nico’s please.” your voice was barely above a whisper, almost ashamed to ask. He just nodded, starting his car and pulling out of the parking lot, he knew Nico could get you home if needed. 

It was a short ride to Nico's, taking only about three minutes, you got out quickly, thanking Dawson for the night. He nodded, repeating your thanks, letting you run inside. You couldn’t bother waiting for the elevator, running up all the stairs instead. 

When you made it to his door, slightly out of breath from the stupid number of stairs, you froze for a minute partially to catch your breath, practically to shake away the nerves. You stood there for at least two minutes, the tiredness truly catching up to you now. You knocked on his door, three times, just like you used to. 

He appeared at the door a few seconds later, his hair messy and his clothes trussled. Clearly just woken, you felt a bit bad, but then again, he broke your heart. 

“Y/n?” He sounded so confused and looked almost more. It was enough to make you have to hide a giggle when he asked that. 

“Hi.” 

“Why are you here? You should be at home, asleep.”

That was less of a question, more of an annoyed statement. It got on your nerves quickly, who was he to refuse to talk? He had to have gotten home only ten minutes ago, he couldn’t have been that asleep. 

“Okay, you know I was trying to be nice. You broke me. I just needed to know why? The minute I finally started moving on, you showed up. You show up and ruin it all again. I finally went out for the first time since you broke up with me and then you had to come and find me. Why? It’s not fair I was finally getting somewhere, I thought tonight maybe I’ll finally get a good night's sleep.”  you slowly trailed off at the end your words becoming quieter from your original outburst. 

“A good night's sleep?”

“I haven’t slept in weeks, Nico.”

“You need to sleep.”

“I can’t!”

He looked confused again with your answer. Of course, he could sleep fine, but you got the shit-end of the break-up. You couldn’t do anything but Nico was playing fine and sleeping well. That’s what you thought, he was not as perfect as you thought, he could sleep though. 

“What do you mean you can’t sleep?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep since you broke up with me.” the words were mumbled and quiet, he barely heard them but they broke his heart.

“Baby-”

“No you can’t do this! I came to get closure! Not to fall for you again.”

“Come inside, please.” You shook your head, not trying to fall back into him. He didn’t take that as an answer, gently grabbing you and pulling you in. melting into his arms when he pulled you further into him to close the door.

“You need to get some sleep, baby.” he was quiet with his words, seeing the way your eyes were closed, leaning into him. 

"Please, hold me. I can't sleep without you anymore." 

He agreed, leading you to his room, just like before. He did pull you off him to hand you one of his t-shirts to sleep in, then turning to allow you to change. When you were done you fell onto his bed, curling into your regular spot, waiting for him to join you. His heart soared at the sight he’d been missing for weeks. He slid under the covers with you, letting you cuddle beside him, fitting snug against him. 

In the morning you woke up without Nico beside you, immediately causing you to panic. What if this was a huge mistake? What if he just thought you were really desperate now? 

Slowly you got up, walking to his kitchen, where you assumed he’d be. He was leaning against his counter, sipping a cup of coffee. 

“I made you a cup.” he said, pointing towards the steaming cup on the counter. You walked over to it quickly, taking a sip. The exact way you liked it, he’d remembered. 

“Thank you.” 

He just nodded, continuing to sip his coffee. It made the room tense and you very anxious. 

“Do you regret letting me sleep here last night?” The words made Nico choke on his coffee, not prepared for the question yet. 

When he stopped coughing, you rubbed his back to help calm him, he answered.

“No, not at all. That’s the best sleep I've had in weeks, since we broke up.”

The words shocked you, taking them in for a minute. He was quick to continue when you didn’t say anything.

“I regret breaking us up, I regret letting you leave that day. I should’ve tried harder”. 

“Nico, baby, it’s okay-”

“It’s not okay, I hurt you, so much. I was stupid i hurt both of us, you should cuss me out and never come back, but you came back. I swear if you’ll take me back, I’ll never hurt you again. I miss you so much, God I miss everything about you. Your kisses, your hugs, the way you hold me in your sleep.” there were tears in his eyes by the end of his rant, begging to take him back.

“Neeks, I love you.” you wiped away his tears. “Of course I’ll take you back babes.”

He was ecstatic when he heard the words, practically dropping his coffee to pick you up, spinning you around, peppering you with kisses. Your laughter filled the room, music to Nico’s ears. 

“God, I’ve missed that sound.” he mumbled, placing you on the ground and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. His scruff tickling your skins, making you giggle again, making him nuzzle more into you.

“Neeks!” you laughed, pulling away from him. He followed you back, leaning with you. 

The rest of the day was spent in bed together, catching up on the missed sleep, cuddles, and kisses. Sleeping the day away, only waking when there was knocking on Nico’s door. Nico slowly got up, complaining while he walked to the door, his slow pace giving you time to follow him. When he opened it, the boys waiting at the door were quick to push  they’re way in. gasping and grinning when they either saw or walked into you, like Jack. 

“What are you idiots doing here?” Nico’s voice was unimpressed, annoyed at his team’s unwanted arrival. 

“You wouldn’t answer your phone, you were scaring us!” Jack explained, making point of the fact Nico didn’t have his phone on. 

“Yeah probably because I was sleeping!”

“Sleeping with Y/N!” The boys were quick to put two and two together to get that conclusion and simultaneously start chirping him. 

“Shut up!” Nico finally yelled, bringing you to him to cover your ears before. 

“Now, if you’d leave so we can go back to sleep,” he shooed everyone to the door.

“We were going to go to a movie, did you want to come?” Dawson finally asked, revealing why they had been there in the first place.

Nico looked at you, you just shrugged your shoulders, letting Nico choose. 

“No, thanks though, now please leave.”

Nico was quick to close the door in their faces before turning back to you, picking you up and bringing you back to his room. He threw you onto his bed, sliding beside you right after, cuddling with you again, luring you back to sleep. 

[goldenavenger02]

i'm stuck between my anger and the blame i can't face

“Lloyd doesn’t blame you, none of us blame you. How were you supposed to know that he would get possessed by a teenage ghost with a vengeance?”

“I know that they don’t blame me, but..” Kai swallowed, rubbing his eyes on his red, dirty sleeve to keep the tears at bay, “I just wish I had gotten a really, really good punch in.”

‘Morro is so lucky that he’s already dead,’ Kai thought to himself as he chewed on his already raw lip and the bitter taste of coppery blood coated his taste buds.

He was aware that it was swollen with how many times it had broken open in the last day along with the fact that his hair was falling out of place due to the crusted salt water coating his scalp but compared to Lloyd, Kai had never looked better.

Despite the fact that it had been caused by their Sensei’s former student, the master of fire was painfully aware that there was no one to blame but himself for what had happened at the museum just a few weeks ago.

The misstep the team, especially himself, had made in letting Lloyd go by himself had now led to the youngest of the bunch being admitted into the hospital for an array of injuries and symptoms after collapsing against Nya’s armored chest when they had arrived at the harbors in the small riverboat.

And despite everything, Kai was all but forced to stay put in the tiny waiting room, biting at his fat lip to keep from blowing everything apart with bursts of burning flames from sheer anger and if some of the sinking guilt exited through it, that was fine by him.

But, he knew he had to keep it inside so no one else got hurt because the last thing he wanted was to hurt someone else even if Morro really deserved it right now.

“Hey, Kai?” Nya’s hand was soft on his shoulder as he was brought out of his thoughts to see his little sister with hair in a similar state of disarray that his own was and a water bottle in her hand, “you need to drink this.”

“I don’t want-”

“Take the water, dumbass,” Nya insisted, pushing the water bottle into his hand, “you and Jay are both dehydrated as hell and I do not want someone else getting admitted into the hospital tonight,” Kai couldn’t fight with her on that and screwed off the small plastic lid, washing away the bloody taste in his mouth with the cool, refreshing liquid, “and don’t chug.”

Kai pulled away the water bottle from his lips, wiping the drips off of his chin with his sleeve before feeling exhaustion pull at the genuine smile he offered his little sister, “I’m proud of you, the whole true potential thing.”

“Thanks,” she smiled briefly, her hand going to the back of her neck in a moment of timidness that Kai hadn’t seen in a very long time, “but, we all did great today. I just wish I had actually hit Morro after everything he did to Lloyd.”

Kai couldn’t stop himself from nodding; he knew that as the ninja, they were supposed to take the high road and not stoop down to the level of their enemies, but at the same time, the enemy had gone too far this time.

It felt as though even Lloyd had given up the golden power that the Overlord had coveted, he still had a massive target on his back just by existing.

“Kai, you’re zoning out again,” Nya spoke up, bringing him back to fluorescent lights and the pit of worry deep within his gut, “get another drink.”

He knew better than to fight with his little sister when he could see the worry reflecting in her brown eyes and as he sipped at the water again, he couldn’t stop himself from sending up a quick prayer to The First Spinjitzu Master or whoever else was listening.

‘Please help Lloyd heal.’

…

Lloyd’s cheeks were slightly flushed in the soft glow of the fluorescent lamp illuminating the room just enough for the hourly vital checks that the green ninja was being subjected to until he improved.

Kai could have focused on any number of things when he was finally let in to see Lloyd after Sensei and Misako left to get some much needed sleep and Nya was satisfied with his water intake.

The mild bruising around the IV site he could see just starting to creep out from the bandage  that covered the back of his hand, the oxygen mask that looked way too big for his face being held on by two elastic straps going over his ears, the dark purple and reds that made up his under eyes, or even the pale tint to his skin everywhere but his cheeks.

But all he could focus on was the light flush that told him that he was no longer possessed, that he was alive and that he would recover in time.

The reassurance of the pink cheeks along with the steady breathing despite the wheeze when he inhaled was enough for Kai to pull his eyes away from his unmoving body and distract himself with his phone since he knew that there was no possible way he would be getting sleep tonight.

He wasn’t sure how long he was scrolling mindlessly to distract himself but it did mean that he was looking at the screen when the screen dimmed to a black screen and the vibrations started to reveal a phone call from Skylor.

“Hello?” He couldn’t stop the yawn from escaping his lips as he spoke.

“Hey, I was getting ready to close for the night and I saw the news. Is Lloyd okay?”

Kai swallowed as he glanced at Lloyd with the large oxygen mask obscuring most of his view of his face before he managed a response, “we’re at Ninjago General, but he’s been pretty stable for the last few hours.”

“Okay,” Skylor paused for a moment and Kai heard some rustling in the background that he couldn’t place, “is it just you and Lloyd?”

“Yeah, the others needed sleep.” Kai confirmed, keeping the thought of ‘they were actually able to help’ to himself, knowing it would just worry her more.

“Do you want some food? I can be there in ten minutes.”

Now that he thought about it, noodles sounded good to his stomach that hadn’t had anything but water since right before they had made their way to Stiix that afternoon and just the thought of food made his stomach growl.

But he couldn’t leave Lloyd by himself, again. ‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.’

“Kai?” Her voice came back and he could hear the concern etched in it even through the distortion of his cell phone, “I said I can bring it to the room if you want me to meet you there instead.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that works,” Kai agreed, the relief filling him quickly as he added, “he’s on the pediatric ward, on the second floor, room eleven.”

“See you in fifteen.”

…

Kai had watched Skylor cook before; keeping customers calm and collected while simultaneously putting ingredients together based on the recipes she had grown up cooking and eating on the island her father had been banished to; for her, it was all she knew but for him, it was the ultimate comfort food.

It tasted like home, it tasted like the first time he and Nya had enough money for more than new materials, power bills and seeds to grow their own food, it tasted like the the two of them ordering off of the one dollar menu for the very first time, it tasted like finding a speck of light in an otherwise suffocating darkness.

That first time they had gone, Kai had ordered the seemingly simple noodle soup but when he had brought the spoon to his lips for the first time, he was overwhelmed with how fantastic the flavors melded together. Bok choy, rice noodles, spicy shreds of chicken, green onion, chili paste and ginger all swimming in a golden, rich, chicken broth; it was the first time he had found comfort in food, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Even now, sitting face to face with Skylor as she tried to coax him into eating some of her puffy potstickers and chocolate-covered shell peas, all he could do was try and breathe in the comforting smell of his soup while simultaneously try to drown out the light hiss of the oxygen mask and the consistent beeping of the various monitors.

“Nya tried to keep me updated on everything, after Garmadon…” Skylor’s voice was quiet even while breaking the silence, “but after telling me that you four had lost your powers, she kind of ghosted me. I know that you two don’t usually check your phones while you’re preoccupied, so I was waiting for her to text me back again.”

Kai nodded, still unable to find his voice which gave Skylor the chance to keep talking, “after all, it’s only been a couple of weeks since she sent me that message,” ‘it had only been a couple of weeks?’, “but when I saw the news coverage, and I saw how sick Lloyd looked, I had to find out-”

“It’s my fault.” He spoke before even fully thinking about what he was saying, stopping Skylor in her sentence; but once the dam burst, he couldn’t stop talking, saying exactly what had been on his mind since that night where he fought the one he swore to protect outside of Steep Wisdom.

“I let him go without backup after I promised him that I would watch out for him. I broke through to him twice and I couldn’t get him back either time. I let him get dragged into the Cursed Realm-”

“Kai,” Skylor’s hand was soft against his glove; while it effectively cut off his rambling, it didn’t stop the tears that had started to build in his eyes and blur his vision, “Lloyd doesn’t blame you, none of us blame you. How were you supposed to know that he would get possessed by a teenage ghost with a vengeance?” 

“I know that they don’t blame me, but..” Kai swallowed, rubbing his eyes on his red, dirty sleeve to keep the tears at bay, “I just wish I had gotten a really, really good punch in.”

Skylor squeezed his hand tightly, her familiar smile gracing her face for a moment before morphing into a more empathic expression as she spoke, “I think the only person who blames you is you and the only person who can forgive you is you,” she stopped to hand him a puffy potsticker, the light scent immediately hitting his nose with a wave of comfort, “but you really have to eat more than dollar menu soup so you can get some sleep. Lloyd is going to be asleep for a while.”

Kai never claimed to be an expert on anything, but he did know when it was better to just do as he was told, especially when it was from someone who had a much clearer state of mind, so he ate the potsticker, took a long drink of water and finally let himself relax in the armchair next to Lloyd.

He wasn’t sure when Skylor left, but he did know that at some point he felt a blanket being tossed over his legs and a soft kiss being pressed to his cheek before he succumbed to the mind-numbing darkness.

…

Kai woke up to chaos.

The sun shone in his eyes, the blanket that had been put on him had fallen to the floor at some point while he was sleeping and he could hear rapid, loud beeping.

Rapid, loud beeping. In a hospital. Where Lloyd was hooked up to so many monitors. Where any number of things could go wrong.

He stood up before he fully had a chance to process anything that was happening around him, his hands reaching out in fists to either fight someone or to let go of his palms in order to figure out what had happened while he had stupidly let his guard down and slept.

But when he blinked, he saw Lloyd looking right at him with a tired smile, his oxygen mask now replaced with a nasal cannula, as a doctor continued to fiddle with the monitor with her face pressed into mild frustration.

“Sorry for waking you up like that,” Lloyd muttered quietly, his voice just above a whisper while he continued to smirk, “The monitor got unstuck.”

“When did you wake up?” Kai asked, still trying to shake away the adrenaline that had thoroughly encased his under-caffeinated mind.

“He woke up a few times last night, but only for a few minutes at a time,” the doctor supplied, seemingly content with the monitor now that it was reattached to Lloyd’s body and beeping steadily, “this is the first time he’s really been awake.”

“Finally got caught up on sleep,” Lloyd added, his tired smile widening before turning to the doctor, gesturing to the tubing around his face, “when can this come off?”

“I’d like for your oxygen levels to go up just a bit more before we take you off of supplemental oxygen completely, but that’ll be in a few hours at the most if it stays on this time.”

“Anything to get this itchy thing off of my face,” Lloyd agreed before seemingly remembering some sort of manners and adding a “please” at the end which Kai couldn’t help but smile at given that it had been awhile since he had seen his childish nature.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check your vitals again.” the doctor told him, disposing of the gloves she had been wearing in the trash can before walking out of the room, leaving Lloyd and Kai by themselves and the guilt slowly started to creep back into Kai’s mind.

‘What are you smiling about when you caused all of this in the first place?’

“You can go get some tea or something,” Lloyd mumbled, his eyes shutting halfway while pulling in a not nearly as wheezey inhale like the ones Kai had fallen asleep to the night before.

“No, I’m okay,” Kai insisted, finally sitting back down in the armchair next to Lloyd and watching as Lloyd reached over and put his hand on top of Kai’s, “are you?”

“Mmhmm, just sleepy,” Lloyd managed a quick nod and a slow blink before asking, “does mom know?”

“I’ll tell the others. You stay awake for a few more minutes,” Kai insisted, pulling out his phone to send a picture of Lloyd to the others, only for Lloyd to stick out his tongue in retaliation right as the photo snapped, “do you really want me to send this,” he stopped to turn the phone screen toward him, “to your mom?”

“They don’t need a picture,” Lloyd huffed, his joking mood completely erased in just one moment that made Kai’s stomach twist with a mix of guilt and worry, “I’m going back to sleep.”

Despite the need to ask and the need to press further, Kai kept his mouth shut; he pocketed his phone and used his free hand to run a hand through Lloyd’s matted hair, feeling him relax into sleep as he did.

After all, he was the one to blame; even if the others didn’t put him at fault, he knew one thing that was true, even if Lloyd only thought it deep within his subconscious.

‘Why would he ever trust me again?’

…

Kai would be lying to himself if he had said that he needed a break from the hospital room.

Even now that Lloyd was awake every few hours and managed to keep conversations going for more than a few sentences with the others, the room still made his stomach turn even before he factored in any of the guilt that hit him whenever Lloyd’s misty, green eyes made contact with his own.

So when Misako, Sensei and Zane had arrived, supplying the fact that Cole and Jay got sidetracked with a robbery, Kai knew that he could safely step out without anything happening to Lloyd.

‘Not that you’re strong enough to stop it regardless.’ His inner voice sneered as he went down to the first floor to find either the cafeteria, fresh air, or the vending machine.

Admittedly, in his search for caffeine so the mild throbbing in his temples would be quelled, he knew he made a wrong turn when he ended up in the waiting room where the hellish nightmare of the last twelve hours had started.

“Anything yet?” Kai couldn’t stop from panting after running straight from The Bounty into the entrance of the hospital, more than likely scaring the receptionist. That or it was the combination of three exhausted ninja, a literal ghost and a Nindroid. 

But, if the woman behind the counter was scared, she was fantastic at keeping it to herself as she turned to the computer and asked “name?”

“Lloyd Montgomery-Garmadon.” Nya spoke up, her brother only now realizing how shaky her voice sounded.

“He’s still being treated,” the woman announced as she continued to type away, “immediate family only.”

“We don’t have time for this! His family situation is complicated between the Great Devourer and The First Spinjitzu Master, not even to mention the whole Underworld thing-!”

“Jay!” Cole shouted, effectively cutting off his obviously dehydrated ramblings before giving the woman a polite smile, “what he’s trying to say is that we’re practically his siblings.”

“Take a seat.” The woman responded before turning back to her work, effectively sending the group of six to the chairs that signaled uncertainty.

“I’m gonna go get some water bottles.” Nya announced before she even had a chance to sit down. Zane followed closely behind her to help her carry them, but Kai knew that he was also watching over her to make sure that she also didn’t collapse from the exhaustion of the night. 

And while Jay leaned against Cole’s ghostly shoulder, his eyes already shutting with exhaustion, Kai’s stomach turned harshly as he thought about Lloyd and all the unknowns that came along with being unable to see him.

“Kai?” 

He should have expected for Nya to find him in the waiting room. 

She had always been good at knowing when he was struggling and where he would retreat to when he had the chance, even in an unfamiliar location to the both of them.

“You okay?” She asked, her gloved hand landing on his shoulder.

“Yeah, just looking for some caffeine.” He lied through his teeth, but he should have known better than to try and fool the one who knew him best.

“Vending machine is over there,” she gestured with her hand to the illuminated, refrigerated box in the corner, “what’s really going on?”

“I…I can’t tell you.” Kai stuttered, wincing when he saw Nya’s concern turn into confusion.

“Kai-” she started, seemingly trying to coax him into letting her in, but he cut her off before she could even begin and the fear that had been at the back of his mind for so long that it had become part of his subconscious finally broke free from his lips.

“You won’t see me the same way if I do.”

And with that, he backed away from her, watching as the hand that had rested on his shoulder fell to her side before walking out of the automatic doors and into the streets of New Ninjago City.

He didn’t know where he was going, he didn’t even know where he would end up. All he knew was that he had to get out of that place with its white walls, the stench of rubbing alcohol and the guilt that threatened to swallow him whole.

He made it a street over when he realized that he had left Lloyd again. He made it two before his conscience started screaming at him to ‘go back to the hospital and tell Nya everything.’

When he made it three streets over, the feeling of sterilization left his bones and was replaced with the familiar but loud sounds of the city around him.

It would be comforting if the voice in his mind wasn’t taunting him with thoughts of ‘you left Lloyd again, traitor,’ and ‘if it isn’t Morro, someone else will hurt him. All because you aren’t there. So much for the “Master of Fire”.’

Kai’s feet stopped moving in the middle of the sidewalk; he could feel the citizens of the city shoulder check him or just walk around him, faces moving coming into and disappearing from view in a blur and he was paralyzed, forced to stand on the designated pavement. 

His breath hitched and he was suffocating on air. His chest hurt and he couldn’t feel his hands. His back hit the wall of a building as his eyes burned with hot tears and his head wouldn’t stop echoing “your fault, your fault, your fault”-

“Kai? Kai, can you hear me?”

He tried to nod to the distorted voice but his vision wouldn’t focus on the blur of red and orange and his neck felt stiff so he reached a hand out, hoping that the figure would grab onto it; when he had spent weeks with a white bandage covering his right eye and couldn’t find the strength to open the left one, he had found comfort in tight grips around his hands and identifying them based on how hard they squeezed back.

Sure enough, when the person returned his grasp and said something about “try to slow your breathing”, he focused on their hand to see if he could find familiarity in the grooves.

The small piece of callous sticking out of their right thumb was all he needed for his vision to focus and his chest to slow its heaving, but in its wake left a deep seated exhaustion and he had to use all of his strength to keep himself from falling face first into the sidewalk.

“Come on,” Skylor’s voice was soft as she wrapped his arm around her shoulder and wrapped her arm around his side, “let’s get you inside.”

…

After taking a much needed nap on Skylor’s futon and eating two full bowls of ramen, Kai finally had the strength to air out everything he was feeling; it never came this easy when it came to the others, but with her, he had the opposite problem where he couldn’t stop talking.

“-and I know what you said last night, that the only person who can forgive me is myself,” Kai stopped to pull the orange throw tighter around his shoulders before looking back into Skylor’s amber colored eyes, “but I don’t even know how to do that.”

“It’s not easy, and it’s not linear,” the hollowness in her voice nearly matched his own, “it’s easier when you first acknowledge that it’s going to take a while for that to happen, self-forgiveness.”

Kai couldn’t help but wonder what Skylor herself felt guilty for, but he also knew better than to ask; if it was anything like his own situation, he’d much rather she told him when she was ready to.

“Has Wu talked to you six about guilt?” She questioned, moving to sit beside him on the futon and resting her hand on his shoulder, giving him permission to put his head against her, “about how to cope with it?”

“He always says that guilt is a good thing, means that we’re aware of what we’ve done even if it’s a mistake,” Kai sighed, trying to grasp onto the words of his sensei when he had been sick with grief over Zane, “it’s when you start to hate yourself because of your actions that it becomes a problem.”

“Do you?” Skylor asked, her hand running through what would usually be a spike but had fallen down around his scalp.

Kai took a moment to consider it, but ended up shaking his head, “that’s not what this is. I just wish I could have done more. The others had really helpful weapons, Nya’s powers defeated the Preeminent and I…” he swallowed, feeling the stinging tears start to make their appearance, “I had a headband.”

“You felt useless.”

And that’s when it finally hit Kai directly in the chest. 

He had always echoed the sentiment that Wu had given them, that they were not just their powers, but after having those powers for a little under two years now, he had let the element take away his sense of self and now that he had it back, he wasn’t sure that he was even worthy of it.

“I wasn’t good at anything before I started training under Sensei,” he let a tiny flame flicker in his hand, a reassurance that Lloyd was okay, “But me and the others, our destiny is to protect Lloyd and when I couldn’t do that…It makes me wonder if I’m good at this at all.”

“You’ve done so much, for Lloyd and for Ninjago,” Skylor insisted, gently pressing a kiss to the top of his head before holding him tighter, “but, self-doubt is a bitch and something I know a thing or two about.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Not as intensive as being one of Ninjago’s sworn protectors or anything, but going from being a pawn in a tournament designed to steal powers to running an entire noodle empire,” Kai could hear her light hearted smirk as she spoke, “let’s just say it’s a massive adjustment.”

“How’d you…you know.” Kai couldn’t find the words as yet another nap threatened to drag him into sleep.

“Learn how to live with it? I brushed myself off, told myself that one angry customer wasn’t going to destroy the entire business and moved on. It wasn’t easy at first, but now? I’m kind of an expert.”

Kai absorbed her words and tried to apply them to his own situation; he knew that the guilt was normal and even expected, but at the same time, he knew that even if he had been at the museum that day, Morro wouldn’t have abandoned his plan when he saw him. He’d either plan a different attack or worse, hurt both of them before taking Lloyd.

Just as an angry customer wouldn’t bring down Mister Chen’s Noodle Emporium, the day at the museum wasn’t going to tear apart his team. ‘So why should it tear me apart?’

“You should go back to sleep, hot shot,” Skylor insisted while maneuvering the comforter so it covered both of them, “I’ll text your sister and let her know you’re safe.”

Kai nodded and shut his eyes, letting the sound of Skylor’s heartbeat lull him into sleep.

The hours passed around him in a blur; he’d wake up, take a drink of water and fall back to sleep. Sometimes Skylor would be there, other times he was all alone. Sometimes the sleep would just be peaceful darkness, but the rest of the time, he was forced to be a fly on the wall as he watched himself go through everything that had happened in the last few weeks.

“Don’t worry, big shot,” pressing his hand into Lloyd’s golden waves, holding onto his arm so he couldn’t escape, “I’ll watch over you from now on.”

That one moment of happiness that was tinged in melancholy grief and the fear of the unknown. After that, all he saw were flashes of himself against the ghost who started all of this.

‘Foolish ninja! Why would you try and take me on all by yourself?!’ rough hands gripped the promotional t-shirt he was wearing, but despite the fear of what would happen to him running through his veins, his fear about Lloyd was stronger.

‘Because I promised to look after Lloyd,’ he maneuvered so his hands were pressing onto his “brother’s” neck, holding him tightly, ‘I know you’re in there, Lloyd. Fight him!’

‘The staff is getting away! Let go of me!’

‘Only when you let go of Lloyd!’

That’s when he heard his voice, raspy and gravely like every word hurt him to say, ‘Kai. Help me!’

The world swirled around him. He was no longer outside of Steep Wisdom, he was on the small boat from Cloud Kingdom, trying to best the sword of sanctuary and destiny at the same time all with just a single aeroblade.

‘I guess both our fates are tested, the only thing is that I already know how mine will end!’ Morro jeered as he engaged in hand to hand combat before stealing the aeroblade with his free hand, leaving Kai backed against the wooden side, ‘now I know how yours will!’

But before he could strike him down, his body stiffened and he nearly fell to his knees as Lloyd’s strained voice broke through, ‘take the sword, Kai! I can’t hold him much longer!’

Once again, the scenery changed. He was no longer in the snow, but rather, in a freezing cold river. Lloyd’s weight was heavy in his right arm as he paddled with his left, desperately trying to avoid going over the waterfall just like the realm crystal.

His cheeks were hot and he could feel a tiny bit of drool on his chin when Skylor finally woke him up for good, pressing a hot mug of tea into his palms once he was sitting up and setting a plate with a couple of pancakes on the coffee table without being asked.

“Thanks, for all of this.” Kai finally said after taking a few sips of the tea, “I really appreciate it.”

Skylor just shrugged in a “it’s nothing” way as she took a bite from her own plate, only speaking after she swallowed, “Nya said that Lloyd got discharged. Do you want me to drop you off at The Bounty after you eat?”

‘You can’t hide from this forever.’

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Kai agreed, savoring the subtle sweetness of the tart blueberries that had been mixed in with the pancake batter, “I’m sure you’re welcome to stick around for a bit afterwards.”

“That’s sweet,” Skylor started, but he could tell by her tone that she was rejecting his offer, “but, I have a lot of reservations at the flagship location today, investors. I’ll drop by for a visit soon though.”

Kai knew that her agreeing to visit soon was the best he was going to get and dropped the topic to finish eating breakfast and run some cold water over his face before they left her apartment.

He was glad that she drove him home, he didn’t feel steady enough to take the wheel and given that Lloyd had just gotten out of the hospital, it would be best if he didn’t get himself admitted in his place.

The drive was silent aside from the sound of the R&B music he seemingly always heard her playing, whether that was in her apartment or in her car; it sounded like everything he loved about her from the small smile that would grace her lips every time she giggled under her breath to the way her hands always knew just how to move in his hair to put out the fiery walls of anger that he more often than not surrounded himself with.

But, the silence was welcome after the chaos of the last few weeks. For Kai, it gave him the chance to breathe and to feel without tears pricking at the corners of his eyes or fire trying to force itself out of his palms. 

He could just be, and for that twenty minute drive, that was okay because while the others meant well, she never tried to force the information out of him. She was content to hold his hand and wait for him to be ready and she always knew exactly what to say.

Kai didn’t know if they would last forever, between their busy schedules and his inability to call her when villains arose as everything went to shit, but in these moments where she drove with her left hand and kept her right clasped against his left, he felt like just focusing on the now was enough for both of them.

So when they arrived at The Bounty and he took off his seatbelt, he was fully prepared to just get out of the car until her hand reached out, making him stop.

“You’ve got this. Don’t let them make you talk about it if you don’t want to, okay?�� 

“I know, Sky.” He nodded, leaning forward to press a kiss to her soft cheek as a good-bye, “I’ll text you in a bit, promise.”

“Okay,” she agreed and let go, waiting until right before he shut the passenger side door to say with a wink, “see you later, Hot Tamale.”

And with that, she drove off; back to the city where her home and her job were, forcing Kai to turn around and board The Bounty, his heart pounding in his chest as he did. 

It wasn’t that he was scared of his teammates, his family, but more so that he was worried about the glances that Jay would give Nya, trying to pry information and the questions that would inevitably be asked about why he had left.

He wasn’t surprised to see that the deck was empty. Given the fact that Lloyd had been discharged, he knew that they would all be below deck, probably watching some bad tv show or playing video games.

Sure enough, when he arrived in the living area, he wasn’t shocked to see Cole, Jay and Zane sitting on the floor as they played Fist to Face 2 and he knew that Wu and Misako were more then likely somewhere that was more quiet aboard The Bounty as they finalized the last of the documents from selling Steep Wisdom.

But what he hadn’t expected was to see Nya sitting on the couch, her controller long abandoned as her right hand rested on Lloyd’s shoulder that was under what looked suspiciously like the red and orange blanket that belonged to Kai and was always haphazardly draped over the edge of his bed.

“Hey,” Kai whispered, getting Nya’s attention as he sat down next to Lloyd’s sock covered feet, not wanting to be loud enough that he would open his green eyes, “how is he?”

Nya’s smirk filled her face for a moment as she gently moved her hand up and down the boy’s shoulder, “he’s doing better. He tried to play for a bit but he’s still tired, poor thing,” she looked away from his peaceful face to meet Kai’s eyes, “are you doing better?”

And as Kai around the room for a moment, taking in the familiar glow of the television, the sounds of Jay cheering a bit too loudly only to get shushed by Zane and the pure relaxation that covered Lloyd’s sleeping face despite the signs of exhaustion still being there, he found the strength to meet his sister’s eyes and speak.

“I’m getting there.”

[yharnamcrow]

Good day. My name is Eileen. You may call me Eileen the Crow if you wish to be formal. I have been informed that I am what one might call a Faller. Someone from another world that has ended up in this one. I hail from Yharnam, where I spent most of my life as a hunter.

I am exploring this region with multiple people, some of whom are friends and familiar faces from Yharnam that I have met once more on my travels. I am also accompanied by five children from Kalos. As of this update, Team Flare has been wiped from existence, and Kalos is safe once more. My team as of now consists of six Pokémon. My first was my Absol, who has been named after a dear friend.

Sometimes, Calem will gain access to my phone, he likes to record videos of my battles.

Furthermore, we have Father Gascoigne, his wife Viola, and his children here as well. He does have a single Pokémon, a Kleavor, and has no interest in becoming a trainer. He cannot write well at night, since he becomes a beast.

Henryk has joined us as well. He travels with Izra, a Zapdos, which he says has chosen him. Henryk is rather taciturn, don't hold that against him. You can make him happy by asking about his dog, Mudball.

Henryk's partner is Djura, who is partnered up with an Entei.

A rather surprising addition thanks to Calem has been Gehrman, who is, as of now, thirteen. She is in the process of figuring things out, do let her work through that, yes?

As of now, we have another Great One with us. Trevor has been Chosen by Endling, a Yveltal.

Rounding out the group is my dear Maria, who I missed dearly

Here's to a peaceful coexistence. Have a look at my current trainer card.

@kayuripax here. I am back on my bullshit, thanks to @ofstormsandfire, awesome friend and mun of @lumenflowered. Now Eileen the Crow joins the fray of pokéblogging.